Star-Crossed Friends?
by haleyvn
Summary: A MWPP era story of the last year of our favorite Gryffindors at Hogwarts. The romantic focus is mostly on Remus and Sirius, their awkward friendship, and the grey areas they constantly seem to tumble into. Of course, Lily and James provide a nice side-story as well. RLxSB, JPxLE, and Peter, alone...First chapter serves as a prologue of sorts.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It's been a while since I've been around here as an author. Here's the opening chapter/prologue to a Remus/Sirius fic I've been toying around with in my head for a while. Reviews, questions, and constructive criticism are always welcome. **

**Disclaimer: The characters and world belong to J.K. Rowling, I simply invent a new road for them to travel. In short, nothing belongs to me. **

**Year 5**

**Early January 1976**

Remus was floating on top of a patch of fluffy blue-grey clouds. He couldn't feel any part of his body but he knew it was suspended in the air. It felt like riding a broom, only better because he had no fear of falling.

And then he plummeted to the ground faster than James could say, "Merlin's saggy balls."

"Hello there, Rem. How is Princess Moony feeling on this fantastic day?" Sirius was perched on the stool next to Remus's bed munching on a pastry. There were golden flakes all over his grey school sweater.

Remus glanced out his window, even though it hurt his neck to turn that far. The day, which Sirius had described as fantastic, was rather dull and dreary by Remus's standards. He couldn't see the sun behind the mountainous wall of clouds and he smelled heavy rain on its way.

"Just wonderful, Pads." He responded, wincing as he struggled rather valiantly to prop himself up on his forearms.

"Excellent! Your pops is waiting downstairs with tea and biscuits." Sirius had finished his pastry and stood up, dusting the flakes from his clothes.

"Right, just give me a minute, please."

Sirius crossed his arms and rolled his eyes as Remus's epic struggle against his own limbs continued, with the bed sheets now joining in to keep him pinned down. He was sweating by the time he'd thrown off the heavy quilt.

"Almost there." he panted, staring down at his newly exposed, pajama-clad legs.

"Do you want some he-"

"No. No, I've got it."

Sirius was trying not to laugh at his friend, he knew how touchy he got after transformations, but the sight of this was too much.

"I wish I had one of those muggle contraptions, those photography thingies, you look absolutely ridiculous." Sirius re-claimed his seat on the stool and smirked at Remus, who was currently lifting his left leg with both hands while trying to swing his body around. His foot, wool-sock and all, landed with a thud on the wooden floor.

"Wizards use cameras too, Sirius. Where do you think all those photos in the Daily Prophet come from?" Remus, now that he had an effective strategy, made quick work of his right leg.

"Yes, but muggle ones are cooler than ours. They've got all of those buttons, you know how I feel about good buttons, Moony."

"Uh, no. No, actually I don't think I've ever heard you profess any type of special affection for buttons." Remus had reached the most difficult part of the getting-out-of-bed process; standing. Normally, the lovely matron of Hogwarts, a Ms. Fairley, would help him hobble around for a few minutes after he woke up to loosen his stiff limbs. That is, if the transformation hadn't been too bad.

This time, however, Remus was left only with Sirius. And while his mate was a wonderful friend, pal, buddy, what-have-you, Padfoot left a lot to be desired in his bedside manner. After the initial offer of help, which Remus had stupidly (he now realized) turned down, Sirius just sat smirking, thoroughly enjoying the show.

"Oi! Boys, hurry it up, you've got to floo to Dumbledore's office in half an hour!"

Sirius raised his eyebrow, in all of it's slightly bushy glory, and kept his arms folded.

"Sirius."

"Yes, Moonykins?"

"Mind moving your ass over here and helping me out?"

Sirius leapt off of the stool, all galant energy, and turned, kneeling, in front of Remus.

"I know it hurts your pride, kid, but just hop on so your Dad doesn't have a heart attack worrying about the time. You and I both know it will take you ten minutes to get down the hall and another ten to get down the stairs."

Remus, tired and sore as he was, didn't even try to argue. He looped his arms around Sirius's shoulders and tumbled gracelessly off the bed and against his friend.

"Merlin, Remus, for someone so skinny you're always so fucking heavy."

"Maybe it's the extra weight of the deadly ravenous beast that lives inside of me." Remus placed his chin comfortably on Sirius's right shoulder as they began the trek down to the kitchen, where Mr. Lupin was waiting with more than just tea and biscuits.

Poor Mr. Lupin had been, in his eyes quite tragically, bullied by the three friends of Remus into helping them surprise his only child. The Lupin's spindly kitchen table was groaning, literally the wood was making odd noises, under the weight of pastries, chocolates, sausages, bacon, eggs, juice, and three awfully wrapped gifts. While Mr. Lupin knew the boys had his son's best interest at heart, and while he knew the surprise would cheer Remus up, he couldn't help but feel anxious having three boys so close to Remus after the transformation. Miraculously, Mr. Lupin admitted, there had been no scars on Remus's face or neck this month, and those on his hands had been small enough to conceal.

Mr. Lupin, James, and Peter heard Sirius's fanfare as he hopped off the last step and paraded into the kitchen.

"Dah dah da-da!" he cried with a flourish of his arm.

"Brill!" Remus exclaimed, still clinging to Sirius's back.

"Come on then, Sirius, let's get him to the chair."

Sirius ambled over and dumped Remus in the wooden chair at the head of the table and began pointing everything out to him.

"We had Penny whip up a few things for you, so over there we've got your usual breakfast fare. Then here we've got some delicious crumbles for you, I think those are apple. Next to 'em are those fancy turn-over pastries, I'm not sure what's in them, but they're great."

"No Padfoot, the crumbles are Blueberry-Pistachio. The turnovers are apple." James was reading off a list that had presumably come from his house-elf.

"Well what's the rest of 'em, then?" Sirius demanded.

"Not sure, can't read your writing." James shrugged.

"I'll have one of each, please." Remus said, beaming. Peter loaded his friend's plate with five different types of fruit-filled pastries.

"Bloody hell, look at the time! 20 minutes. Hurry up and drink that tea Remus, doctor sent it over for you earlier. Boys, would you mind running up and checking on Remus's trunk. We've got to get you into your uniform."

Peter grabbed a sausage off a tray as he and James raced up the stairs.

"Did you need any help, Mr. Lupin?" Sirius inquired, hands in his pockets.

"No, no, thank you, Sirius." Mr. Lupin was more than a bit paranoid about his son's scars. Remus sat demurely sipping tea, blueberry-pistachio crumble in one hand. Sirius smiled, nodded, and hurried up the stairs after the others.

Phase 2 (Operation Firewhisky) of their surprise was now in motion.

With Mr. Lupin's help Remus stripped off his pajamas and slipped into his school uniform. The buttons on his white shirt were a bit tricky for his tired fingers so his dad stepped closer and tucked each of the iridescent buds through their holes.

"Should be a good term, don't you think?" He asked his son.

"With O.W.L.S? I don't know about that."

"I'm sure you'll do great."

Mr. Lupin started tying the red and gold striped tie.

The two heard the thuds of Remus's trunk and the feet of the three boys as they came crashing down the stairs. Remus winced at the noise.

"All set, Mr. Lupin!" James cried. He and Peter began re-packing some of the food inside of a magically enlarged picnic basket lent by Mrs. Potter.

"Did you get my books?" Remus asked.

"Yes, all fifty-hundred of them." James answered, rolling his eyes.

"Fifty-hundred is not a real number, James." Remus smiled, picking up his Hogwarts sweater. His scarf, hat, and coat all hung neatly by the fireplace. Sirius gathered them up in his arms brought them over.

"Yeah, but you still had a lot of books, mate." Sirius added as he placed the knit cap on top of Remus's messy hair and wrapped the scarf around his friend's pale neck. Remus said nothing, he couldn't argue since his trunk was a traveling library, and folded the coat over his arm.

Mr. Lupin grabbed the tin of floo-powder, disguised as an old Christmas biscuit can, and waited near the fireplace as the other boys gathered the rest of their things. He stood, watching the four of them joke for a few moments; stuffing bits of food in each other's faces, Sirius snapping his scarf across Peter's butt, James slinging Remus over one shoulder and striding around the kitchen.

He tossed a handful of the powder into the flames. The whooshing sound caught the boys attention, and caused them all to line up in a somewhat orderly fashion, in front of the fireplace.

"Thanks Mr. Lupin!" James shouted gleefully, hopping straight into the sparkling green flame. "Dumbledore's Office!"

"Later, Mr. Lupin." Peter said with a wave and a nod before he too went the same way as James.

"In a bit, then." Sirius said to Remus, waving at the older man as he stepped into the still glowing fire.

Remus hugged his father tightly and was rewarded with several hearty and manly pats on the back.

"Have a good term, son." Mr. Lupin whispered before he gently nudged him towards the fireplace. Remus, needing no real motivation to rejoin his friends, nearly tumbled forward in his haste.

"Dumbledore's office!" He shouted, waving voraciously at his dad as he spun out of sight. The older Lupin smiled and waved as well, but Remus thought he seemed a bit sad.

The four boys arrived just in time for the first class of spring term. Professor McGonagall was waiting for them in Dumbledore's office, tapping her foot. The four would have preferred to be greeted by the white-bearded genius himself, but hadn't found themselves in a position to make demands. You see, when the headmaster agrees to let you pick up your lycanthropic friend and floo directly to his office, late no-less, on the first day back, one didn't argue with specifics.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, Arithmancy. Mr. Pettigrew, Care of Small Magical Creatures if you please. The house elves will stow your belongings."

"Did you have a lovely Christmas, Minnie? We left you a gift!" Sirius's eyes were dancing, two impish black pools.

"How good of you to remind me, Mr. Black. You have detention every night this week for that gift. Professor Slughorn would like help cleaning some of the old cauldrons to be used for first years."

Sirius scowled and his friends chuckled as they all filed out of the room.

"You're getting tedious, Black! A talking muggle-Santa doll is hardly original!" McGonagall cried after them. The other three only laughed louder.

"What an awful way to end the day: double Potions." Sirius flopped down on his bed and rubbed his eyes.

"It might have gone better, Padfoot if you hadn't dropped those lace-fly wings in Snivillus's cauldron just as Sluggie looked over." Peter said with a consoling pat on his friend's shin before he too dropped down onto his own bed.

"Details, Wormtail, details."

James snorted while undoing his tie, "Details they may be, but you earned yourself detention for another week."

"Yeah well what was I supposed to do, let him keep saying all that stupid shit about Remus? Somebody might have heard him."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you invited him down to the Willow at the beginning of last term." Remus snapped as he flung his bag down on his bed. He sat down heavily and placed his head in his hands.

"Remus, I've said I'm sorry, mate-"

"Let's not start this again." James interrupted, drawing his arms across his chest and doing his very best to impersonate his own father.

"Prongs, why are you stood there looking like a twat?" Peter pipped up, unknowingly breaking the tension in the room.

Sirius and Remus guwaffed as James's face reddened and he dropped his arms.

"I was trying to be mature." James said in defense.

"Your voice sounded a bit daft." Peter said with a shrug as he popped a Berties Bott's bean into his mouth. He grimaced after he discovered it was earwax and not the new and highly anticipated muggle "popcorn" flavor.

"Oh, stuff it." James grumbled.

The boys lay on their beds in silence, everyone contemplating the horrific night Severus had nearly stumbled upon a fully transformed Remus, before they heard someone shout for Remus.

"Is that Lily?" James demanded, immediately sitting upright.

"REMUS!" the voice cried again.

"Uh, yeah. We've got prefects meeting." Remus scrambled to put his shoes back on and hurry out of the dorm before James could beg him to recite a poem for the girl, give her some horrible Christmas gift, or whatever else his emotionally stunted mind could come up with.

"Remus! Remus, wait, mate, I need you to-" James shouted as his friend slammed the door behind him.

"Prongs, after Lily hexed him before break for that ridiculous stunt you had him pull, he will not be doing you anymore favors." Sirius advised.

"Yeah, I guess you're right...but I really don't understand why she didn't like it." James shrugged his friend's hand off his shoulder and stumbled towards their bathroom.

"I mean, I thought it was brilliant. The lights, Moony's singing, the poem at the end."

Sirius ignored James and instead focused on stroking the very prickly mustache hairs of his upper lip.

"Do you think he's really still upset?" Padfoot demanded of the other two. Peter heaved both shoulders in his staple non-committal gesture, making it more than clear that he did not want to go on record as having an opinion on such a touchy Marauder event. James exhaled loudly.

"Stop sighing dramatically and answer me." Sirius snapped.

James regarded him carefully, his hazel eyes just the slightest bit magnified by the wire-rimmed glasses he wore.

"If he is, I think he has every right to be. You nearly got him kicked out."

"But I said I'm sorry. I've apologized." Sirius was tugging viciously at stray pieces of his hair and chewing his bottom lip.

"I know. I just don't think an apology is enough this time."

"Well what else am I supposed to do?" Sirius turned his oozing grey eyes on James.

"Fuck if I know. Talk to him, probably."

Sirius looked to Peter for his verdict. The blonde boy, who had been getting quite chunky over the last few months, nodded slightly.

This advice to "talk to him" had driven Sirius to his current spot. He had dug out the map from under James mattress ("Mate, could you keep it somewhere else? I'm worried you'll get, ya' know, on it next to all these mags.") and searched desperately for Remus and Lily's names. He had found them in a few moments (Prefects meetings were always in the eastern part of the castle, fifth floor, third corridor on the left) and set off, ignoring James's warnings to not do anything stupid. Even though Remus and Lily's names had disappeared once they entered the Prefect's meeting room, he had pranked that corridor enough times to reach it in his sleep.

So there he was, waiting anxiously, about twenty feet away from the meeting room, and growing hungrier by the second. He picked at the cuticles on his nails to the pass the time, but stopped once he ripped a hangnail too aggressively, causing it to bleed. That's how Remus and Lily found him too, sucking on his ring finger and cursing.

"Black." Lily said with a raised eyebrow.

"Hello Mrs. Potter." he chimed with a wink. Remus frowned at him and shook his head slightly. Faster than Sirius could blink, Lily had draw her wand and hexed his shoelaces so that they tied his arms behind his back.

"What did you say to me?" Lily growled, stepping forward.

"Um, no magic on students between classes, Ms. Evans?" Sirius gulped as the red-head pushed her wand into his neck. She snorted at him and walked away, briefly touching Remus on the shoulder and whispering something in his ear.

"What's crawled up her ass?" Sirius asked, wiggling out of the shoelaces, which had once more become lifeless with Lily's parting.

"Family things." Remus said vaguely, even waving his hand around in an ambiguous fashion. Was that a circle, an oval, a new type of inter-stellar orbit? Sirius wasn't sure. He handed Remus the left shoe and one of the shoelaces and leaned against the stone wall to re-lace the other. The two made quick work of the strings and Sirius held onto the wall while he slid his trainers back on. He was careful not to jostle Remus who he thought might still be sore from last night's transformation.

"What's the matter? Her Christmas dinner was ruined because the napkins didn't match her mother's china this year?"

Remus glared at him. "Really, Sirius?"

Sirius cocked his head to the side and looked at his friend expectantly. James wasn't aware of this, but Remus, through his friendship with Lily, had learned a great number of things about her that might have given his friend insight into the young woman he claimed to "love". He passed these tidbits on to Sirius, occasionally, if he thought it was something Sirius should relay to James, or if he simply needed to talk about it with someone else.

Last year, when Lily had first told Remus of the troubles with her older sister, Petunia, Remus had cautiously gone to Sirius for advice, hoping that his own relationship with his younger brother Regulus might shine some light on Lily's problems. Sirius had listened as Remus carefully constructed several complicated 'hypothetical' situations before he cut him off with his hand and simply said, "Look, Moony. Tell Red that her sister will never get over being a cunt, because that's all she is. So the lovely Lilykins can either take it, or leave it." Remus, while impressed his friend had figured out that it was Lily the two were discussing, had not shared that with Lily. He thought it would be more disheartening that anything else.

"Petunia's told Lily she can't come to the wedding in June because she thinks Lily will bring the "bad wizards" to kill the family."

"Are you shitting me?"

"And Petunia wants Lily to tell their mother she won't be coming to the wedding. She was apparently really cruel over the Holidays and now Lily doesn't know if it's even worth it to go."

"Evans definitely got all the intelligent genes in the family. Does Petunia really think she's friends with the "bad wizards"?"

Remus smiled at his friend briefly. "Look at you, employing your muggle studies knowledge. Genes."

Sirius and Remus stared out the window for a moment, enjoying the silence of the corridor and the starry sky on the other side of the glass pane. Sirius didn't really have any advice for Lily Evans, he honestly couldn't bring himself to care much about her life, not when he was preoccupied with his other friends. There had been a few threats on Potter Senior over the holidays, and Sirius knew James was struggling under the fear of his father's death. There had even been a particularly close call on Boxing Day, something he hadn't told Remus about yet. Remus, who was always so calm and stoic in Sirius's eyes, despite his own inner demons. All of the Marauders were, according to Sirius, a bit fucked. He maintained it was part of what held the group together.

He turned to look at the other boy, sweeping his eyes from the long dusty blonde hair flipping up at awkward angles as Remus swept his hands through it absentmindedly. His jumper was perfectly neat, his trousers were a bit loose, but Sirius could tell that Mr. Lupin had pressed them earlier that morning. Sirius was distracted from studying the battered and slightly discolored shoes of his friend as Remus yawned and stretched, revealing a small golden belt buckle and the tiniest patch of skin, sprinkled with hair the same color as the locks on his head. Sirius's stomach growled then, quite loudly, and Remus laughed, slapping him on the shoulder.

"Let's head down for dinner."

"Rem, wait a minute." Sirius tugged on the boy's elbow.

"What is it?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something."

"I figured as much when I saw you waiting out here. I thought you'd gone and forgotten it though, since you hadn't said anything yet." Remus crossed his arms and looked as his friend intently. Sirius closed his eyes and mustered up his courage.

"I just, I know that I need to, hold on." Sirius squeezed his eyes together as tightly as possible, causing Remus to smile a bit at the wrinkles that showed in the creases of his friend's eyelids.

"Go on." he implored.

"I know I've apologized for what happened with Snape."

"Sirius-" Remus began, dropping his arms.

"No, listen. I know I've apologized. And I know it's not enough, but I don't know what else to do and I'm sorry." Sirius opened his eyes and looked at Remus. He stepped closer, desperately hoping to make him see how sincere he was.

"Sometimes you, things, get weird between us, Remus and I know it's because of what I did. And if I could take it back I would. I really, really would. I need you to know that."

Remus nodded and looked down at his shoes. Blushing. He was blushing because he could feel Sirius's breath tickling his nose and he couldn't handle standing this close to his friend for this long. Sirius, for his part, was beginning to get desperate and felt like he wasn't getting through.

"Rem." he said again. Remus looked up carefully. Sirius could see the guarded look in his eyes and assumed, quite wrongly, that it was because he was doing a shit job at apologizing.

"I'm sorry." he whispered, so quietly and so desperately that no other apology ever uttered sounded quite so tragic. At least in his humble Black opinion.

Then, he impulsively placed his hands on either side of Remus's jaw and kissed each side of his face, in that horrible grey space that is neither lip nor cheek, but both and thus infinitely more difficult to understand.

"Sirius! Remus! I'm not climbing these fucking stairs. Get your arses down here. I want to eat." James's voice caused them both to jump and Remus rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly before he hurried down the stairs, not glancing back at Sirius.

"Where's the smelly dog?" James demanded as he and Peter flung their arms around his shoulders.

"I'm here, I'm here." Sirius said, panting. He wiggled in between James and Remus as the four made their way to the Great Hall.

"Hey, Moony. Did James tell you what we got you for Christmas yet?" Peter asked with a huge grin.

"Oh, no. I haven't even opened those gifts yet. What are they?"

The other three chortled.

"Those were duds. We wrapped some of Mrs. Potter's weirdo artwork and told your dad that was your gift." explained Peter.

"The real gift was stashed in your trunk." James added, jumping out of line to step in front of them and halt Remus.

"What did you put in there?" Remus asked skeptically. His mind was conjuring up images of dead animals, perhaps if he was lucky it would be alive still. The other three boys, now in a semicircle around him, were smiling happily. Remus began envisioning books instead, since their smiles didn't appear to be too sinister. He sighed happily at the idea of a new paperback to immerse himself in, seated on his favorite chair in front of the Gryffindor fireplace.

"We each nicked a bottle of Firewhiskey for you." Sirius whispered. They all looked at him with smirks and raised eyebrows. Remus wished desperately for a camera, to capture this moment when all three wore the exact same expression. He laughed and delivered the appropriate response:

"Brill."

Although, he would have preferred a new copy of The Lord of the Rings. Maybe Lily would have gotten it for him. The four continued to meander towards the Great Hall.

Thoughts of the bizarre kisses from Sirius were shoved away as the boys gorged on heavenly Hogwarts food and did their best at keeping James away from Lily throughout the meal (They were not, in fact, successful and James ended up with a giant tentacle for a nose until Remus stopped laughing long enough to reverse the spell).

Afterwards, they skipped the traditional post-holiday socializing in the common room and sprinted up the dorm stairs. The four dived onto Remus's bed as Sirius accio'd one of the bottles from the trunk.

"Well, gentlemen, a toast! To the new term, and to the Marauders!"

"Hurrah!" cheered Peter as Remus was forced to take the first gulp. The bottle was passed to Peter then James. Sirius took the last sip and as he sputtered (as they all had) Remus found his hand, of its own volition, wiping a drop of Firewhiskey from his friend's lip.

Maybe he hadn't pushed those thoughts as far away as originally believed.

**I originally got my dates mixed up and wrote this as if it was their sixth year...it's all fixed now. If you spot any grammar or spelling mistakes, include them in a review. Those are my pet peeves but I can't catch them all the time! Thanks for reading. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: thanks to RiddledWithWolfstar for reviewing the first chapter! I hope you've stuck around. **

**Year 7**

**Early September 1977**

Remus was leaned against the wall of the Prefect's compartment on the Hogwart's Express. He looked out the window with a tiny smile as he studied all the first year students and parents, the older ones pretended not to be scared. They were like himself and already lost something in this quiet war. His golden eyes found Mrs. Potter and Prongs standing underneath an archway off to the side. Remus watched as his friend clung to his mother tightly, he could clearly imagine the glistening tears in both of their eyes, and the angry way James would be swiping at them when he pulled back from the embrace. Mr. Potter had been murdered a month ago. The other three Marauders had spent turns sitting at the house with James and his mother throughout the month of August. Remus closed his eyes remembered the first time her relieved Sirius of his duties there.

It had been a week after the funeral; Mrs. Potter was doing her best to be her normal chipper self at this point. She fawned over Remus and fed him at least five times each day. Remus had allowed this, most importantly because he knew it was helping her to cope, but also because their house elf, Penny, made some damn-good food.

The first night he had been there, James had broken what Sirius had called his 72 Hours of Silence. He hadn't suddenly started for Remus to pass the salt at dinner one evening, no, he had shattered the self-imposed isolation as he smashed the mirror in his bathroom to pieces, with his fists. Mrs. Potter and Remus had been quietly drinking tea and reading in the Potter's library when they heard the sound.

"Oh my." Mrs. Potter had said in a hushed tone as Remus sprinted up the stairs, wand out, expecting to see James fighting of Death Eaters (his imagination did sometimes get the best of him, the Potter's house had been so heavily warded over the last few days that Remus was sure the Secret Keeper knew whenever Remus took a piss). Instead, his saw his friend standing at the basin, shoulders and chest heaving as snot dripped out of his nose. His left hand was flecked with bits of glass, blood was dripping along the rim of the white ceramic sink, the white tile was splashed with it, and James didn't seem to notice or care. Remus approached carefully.

"Prongs?" he had asked. There had been no reply. "Prongs, mate, let me see your hand." James had looked over his shoulder then, glancing at Remus with red, wet eyes, before he looked down at his shredded hand.

"Yeah, okay." he had mumbled, holding out the appendage for Remus, who had quickly performed a few healing spells.

"Is it okay if I clean this up?" he had asked, placing a hand on James's shoulder. The other young man had nodded. All Remus had needed was a quick _scourfigy_ and everything was removed. He hadn't bothered repairing the mirror, he had a feeling that James would just shatter it again.

"Let's get you to bed."

After Remus had helped James out of his clothes and under his fluffy scarlet duvet, he had smiled briefly and turned to leave.

"Moony?"

Remus had turned around quickly. "Yes?"

"Would you stay?" James hadn't been looking at him as he spoke, but instead studying the glow-in the dark stars the boys had pasted to his ceiling sometime during the summer between their fifth and sixth years.

"Sure thing."

Neither of the two had slept. Remus had occasionally glanced over at his friend and saw large bags under his bloodshot eyes, sometimes heavy with tears.

"Do you want to talk about it, James?" Remus had asked after two hours of laying in perfectly still silence.

"Not yet, Remus. Not yet." James and squeezed his eyes shut, desperately hoping to keep the tears confined but it was no use. They spilled over and when Remus dared to glance at his friend, he saw his cheeks glistening in the moonlight.

"We're joining the Order, Remus. My mother was wrong and we can't give up now. Especially now that my father is dead. I can't just sit in my room in the dark for the rest of my life. It's been getting worse the last three months, Remus. And it's they're only going to keep getting stronger the longer we hold off doing anything."

"Prongs, Kingsley said the Order is for full-wizards. We're still students."

"I'm sure there are student Death Eaters too." James had said with a shrug, his hands behind his head. Remus noticed he looked relaxed now, while talking about the secret resistance force led by Dumbledore.

The idea of fighting back was calming him down in a way nothing else had been able to.

"You're right." Remus had said, turning on his side to look at James. "What do you think we should do?"

"I'm not sure yet, Rem. But it's a relief to know you agree. If I can convince our level-headed Moony, Pete and Sirius won't be a problem."

"Of course I agree. Just like any decent wizard."

The two didn't sleep the rest of the night, nor did they speak again and when the first rays of sunlight had crept over the hills in the distance, James had immediately thrown his covers off and jumped out of bed. Remus flopped down onto the barely ruffled duvet and rubbed his exhausted eyes.

Remus was sucked out the painful memories of his broken friend by a voice carefully whispering, "Hello, you." He turned around to greet the smirking face of the 6th year Hufflepuff Prefect, Fred.

"Hey there." Remus whispered back, eyes dropping down to the boys thin pink lips. Fred leaned forward and kissed him briefly.

"How was your sum-"

"Let's not talk about that." Remus interrupted, placing his hands on the other boy's hips and pulling him back in for another kiss. He felt Fred's smirk grow against his own as the boy backed him up against the wall. His mouth started trailing down Remus's neck, his hands slipping up the front of his sweater, feeling Remus's slight body.

Remus didn't find Fred particularly attractive, he was somewhat average looking, brown hair, brown eyes, freckles across his nose, but what Remus did like is that Fred was a head shorter than him, which made it very easy for the boy to spend a nice amount of time working Remus's favorite spot where his shoulder met his neck.

Ties were starting to be loosened and hands were roaming further south when the sound of Lily Evan's voice floated through the partially opened door. When she slid it open she was greeted with the back of Remus (as he fixed his tie), and Fred sprawled across one of the chairs.

"Hello, Fred." Lily said with a quick smile.

"Nice to see you again, Evans." he responded in kind.

"Hello, Lily." Remus said turning away from the window now that his tie was (he hopped) tied properly. Lily raised her eyebrows and her vibrant green eyes flitted between Remus and Fred as she stepped up and deftly straightened the knot.

"Still on with that, are you?" she asked in a whisper. Remus shrugged and blushed slightly. Lily moved away with a wink and pat on his shoulder to take her spot at the front of the room. The rest of the Prefects arrived while she pulled out sheafs of parchment and her quill for roll call. She didn't bother to call the names out loud and instead placed a check next to each person's name after she greeted them politely, even the Slytherins. After three minutes of staring at her watch and huffing loudly, Lily looked up and glared around the room.

"Has anyone seen Potter?" she demanded, cutting off the quiet chatter that had filled the compartment.

"I'm here!" he cried, stumbling through the door as the Express lurched forward. He flitted to the front of the room and stood next to Lily. His smile, Remus noticed, was still strained and held none of its usual careless charm.

"What's he doing in here, Evans?" Avery demanded from the back of the room. Remus was amazed how his voice could be so commanding and also sound so uninterested.

"Right well, I'd just like to say welcome back to everyone, it's lovely to see your faces again."

At this Remus snickered slightly, Lily purposefully avoided looking at the group of Slytherins, six scowling blobs glaring in her direction. Her snub hadn't gone unnoticed.

"For today's patrol you'll pair up by House and year. Ravenclaw has the first shift, followed by Slytherin, Hufflepuff, and finally Gryffindor. Please remember to return her and sign out with Potter or myself after your patrol. Our first meeting will be tomorrow evening at 8pm, I expect the older students to show our new Prefects the meeting room. Will the seventh year Prefects from each house please come see Potter and I for their common room password? If there are no questions you're free to go. Ravenclaws please see to it that the younger student's aren't having trouble finding seating." Lily shuffled her papers neatly and smiled brightly around the room.

Remus waited patiently at the end of the line of seventh years to speak with Lily and James. Since Dumbledore had chosen James as Head Boy, he had left Gryffindor with three seventh year students and Remus without a patrol partner. He took the time to study the other students in line in front of him. In a short ten months, they would all be out in the world, fighting, fleeing, or hiding. The division in the room was very clear. The two Slytherins, Avery and the willowy Narcissa soon-to-be Malfoy, were standing in front of Lily and James. Anita and Jasmine from Ravenclaw were standing at least five feet behind the other pair, their backs turned as they conversed with the boy and girl from Hufflepuff.

For Remus, it was both incredibly sad and interesting that they had ended up this way. They had grown up together, little 11 year-olds crossing the Lake, afraid the Sorting Hat would swallow them whole (alright, so Remus was fairly certain that fear alone was his, but he knew that the Sorting was a very stressful event even for the purebloods), terrified of McGonagall until he realized she was perhaps the one teacher rooting for him most strongly, and the list went on. Somewhere along the way, certain students had lost their footing along the path and slipped off. Some of them, like Jasmine and her Hufflepuff boyfriend just seemed to be a bit lost, wondering in circles.

Remus had heard her claiming earlier that her mother (who worked in the Ministry of Magic, Department of Magical Security) had told her daughter that all of this talk about war was absolute nonsense and that the stories of muggles and muggle-borns going missing were all just fabricated by that blasted new reporter, Rita Skeeter.

The others though, they had just found a different, darker, path.

"Hey, Moony." James said, mustering up a real smile for his friend when he arrived at their table.

"Hello, Prongs." Remus replied, dragging a chair over to sit next to his friends.

"Let's see, our password for the year is, 'Saggy centaur balls'." James informed him with a very serious nod and quick twinkle in his eye that would have made Dumbledore proud. Remus laughed openly as Lily smacked him on the back of his head.

"Okay, so it's actually 'The Woods of Lothlorien'." James said with a clueless look on his face.

"Tolkein?" Remus demanded of Lily.

"I just wanted to spice it up a bit, remind everyone the Head Girl is a precious mudblood." Lily said with a shrug. James frowned sharply at her use of such an ugly slur.

"Hardly anyone will even get these references." Remus said.

"The muggleborns will, and that's what's important. Dumbledore agreed." Lily said, taking the paper from James's hands and sliding it to Remus. He read the following aloud, nodding approvingly when he reached Slytherin:

_Gyrffindor- The Woods of Lothlorien_

_Hufflepuff- Tom Bombadill_

_Ravenclaw- Gandalf the Grey_

_Slytherin- Gollum_

"These are references?" James asked them.

"Yes." Lily replied simply, not feeling the need to elaborate further.

"It's a popular muggle fantasy book. Elves, wizards, dwarves, evil covering the world in shadow." Remus explained. James nodded his head, still frowning.

"Can I read it?" he asked Remus.

"I didn't bring mine with me. They're at home, I can have Dad owl them."

"You can borrow mine, Potter. But if there's so much as a finger-mark on the pages I'll castrate you." Lily said, pointing her wand at his lap for emphasis. James gulped.

"So who should I patrol with?" Remus interrupted, hoping to save his friend from such a gruesome fate.

"I was thinking that either James and I could split the time with you. I'll patrol the first half-hour, he can patrol the last half-hour with you. Tomorrow night we'll have to come up with a more permanent solution. That's what I'm working on now." Lily showed him the tables she was drawing up, divided by house and then year. She also had all possible scheduling conflicts listed, club meetings, Quidditch practices, and extra courses, drawn on the calendar of another sheet of paper.

"Great." Remus said, pushing the charts back to her. "Well, I'm off to find Sirius and Peter. I'll be back here in a few hours. See ya' Lils, Prongs."

"Wait!" the two shouted at the same time as he stood up. Remus raised one eyebrow and crossed his arms.

"Are you sure you have to go? I mean, I could use your help with this." Lily said brandishing her quill and the calendar.

"That's what James is for, Lily." Remus said, eyes flicking to his friend who, oddly enough was looking quite desperate. _Stay,_ he mouthed at Remus. What was going on here?

"Okay." Remus said, sitting back down cautiously. He scooted forward and pulled one of the charts towards him.

"Well, it would probably be best to pair the Slytherins with the Ravenclaws. I don't trust them with anyone else, really." Remus said, looking down the list and furrowing his brow. All of these names, Avery, Mulciber, Lestrange, Black (Narcissa and Regulus) had been tied to the violent Death Eater group. He threw the paper down and rubbed his eyes.

"What the fuck was Slughorn thinking?" He asked James and Lily.

"It's just like Kingsley said." James said with a nod.

"Who's Kingsley?" Lily asked, chewing her bottom lip.

"He's an auror who worked with my-" James started, frowning and looking down at the table as his throat constricted around the word 'dad', making it impossible for him to squeeze the syllable out.

"He came and spoke with us, James, Sirius, and me. Mrs. Potter wasn't very happy when she found us all huddled in the library, but he said what needed to be said."

"Which was?" Lily probed, glancing between the boys. She noticed their brief eye contact, a moment in which it was clear they were communicating in ways she couldn't. Or maybe they were simply Legillimens. Lily had always suspected that was the case.

"Dumbledore came to visit me this summer," she began, carefully constructing the hints in her head to let them know she was in on it too. "It was after these men found me in a muggle book shop, just down the road from my house. They killed the shop owner in front of me. I brought the bookshelves down on top of them and ran. I think the only reason it worked is because I surprised them because as I was running down the aisles, one of them shot a curse at me. The Ministry had to _obliviate_ half the street. When Dumbledore showed up at my house less than an hour later, as that dolt Crouch was interrogating me, he told me, the time for fighting wasn't here yet, that it was good I had run, that we would rise from the ashes and end this war when the moment came."

The two boys studied her for another moment for grins broke out on their faces.

"I knew it." James said, slapping Lily a bit roughly on the back, like he would one of the boys. Lily smiled back at them.

A huge weight lifted off her shoulders. Dumbledore had said she couldn't talk about the Order through the post, it was too risky. The Death Eaters, he told her, were everywhere. They were slowly infiltrating the highest positions of the Ministry, like a cancer that was growing silently but exponentially inside of an old man's body. She had been secretly thrilled and frightened by the prospect of fighting men like the ones who had attacked her. She had sat on her mother's sofa, her parents trying to eavesdrop from the kitchen (impossible, she had cast the muffliato charm Severus had taught her before their break), and listened as Dumbledore explained the bare bones of the Order of the Phoenix. A secret group of young, and old, aurors, witches, and wizards who weren't going to take the destruction of their world sitting down.

Lily Evans was not afraid of dying, but at the end of the conversation she had paused on her way to the kitchen to tell what she could to her parents. She stood in her living room, eyes unfocused as she unconsciously rubbed the new scar that ran under her collar bone to contemplate the classmates who would be standing with her and those she would be fighting against.

"Where was Peter?"

"He left straight after the funeral. There have been a lot of attacks around his home, he was too anxious leaving his mom and sister there." James leaned back in his chair, resting on the two back legs and teetering precariously every now and then as he let go of the table.

"Does he kno-" Lily started to ask.

"Shh!" Remus said quickly as the three heard footsteps outside the compartment. Lily began blabbering on about patrol schedules as the door opened. James and Remus crowded around her anxiously, boisterously pointing to names and repeating whatever Lily said.

"Well, isn't this just adorable!" Sirius proclaimed, clapping his hands together. Everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief. Lily herself was so happy to see it was Sirius and not someone else that she smiled at him brightly and said, "Had a good summer, Black?"

Sirius frowned at Lily while James picked anxiously at his nails and avoided eye contact with everyone in the room. Lily winced at her own stupidity and mouthed, _sorry_ at the other two. There was an awkward moment of silence before Sirius stepped up behind Remus, placing his hands on his friend's shoulders and demanded to know what everyone was getting their panties in a bunch about.

"Patrol schedules? Really?" he teased as he leaned forward, his stomach brushing Remus's head, to study the papers on the table.

"Yeah, mate, you know how things get, sit down, we could use some help getting things in _order_." James said, very business-like. He placed his hands flat on the table, and raised his left pinky, Marauder code that announced secret business.

Sirius glanced over his shoulder and shot a quick spell at the door, shutting it and pulling down the blinds. He pulled a chair up and sat next to Remus as Lily whispered a few hurried charms, ensuring the four would hear anyone who walked outside the door.

James grabbed one of Lily's papers and turned it over, snatching her quill from her hand.

"We've started a list," he began, glancing up at the witch. He furiously started writing down names, most of which Lily knew were muggle borns or half-bloods. "Kingsley told me it would be important to make new friends in my time of grief." James added with a dark smile. Remus and Sirius nodded when Lily looked up.

She turned to James and demanded, "Do they always do that?"

Sirius and Remus were seated shoulder to shoulder, both with their right leg crossed at the knee, hands folded in their laps, with identical looks of intense concentration. James smiled at his friends.

"Yeah, mostly."

"He just can't help it, wants to be just like me." Sirius grinned, pinching Moony's cheek.

"Padfoot, get off." Remus said slapping his hand away as James drew a heavy black line under his short list.

"He also said to watch out for those who wouldn't be sympathetic." James murmured, beginning a new list. Sirius watched him carefully this time. When James sat back, finished, he pulled the paper towards himself and scribbled one more name at the end: _Regulus Black. _Remus placed his hand on Sirius's back and no one spoke for a moment as Lily leaned forward and studied the list. Her finger trailed down the paper, sometimes pausing at a name before she would eventually nod and move on. Her finger halted at _Severus Snape_ and Remus knew it wasn't out of doubt, but sadness.

"Very well, memorize the password list, James. We need to destroy the paper so no one else finds it." Lily sat back and bit her lip as each of the boys studied the list they had spent three hours constructing in the Potter's home the afternoon of the funeral. As everyone sat back James flicked his wand and the paper went up in flames. The four seventh years sat silently for a few moments, each of them contemplating the war in their own way.

"We need more friends." Remus said quietly, voicing something he knew everyone was thinking. The list of so-called enemies had been twice as long as the other.

Lily was white knuckled as she gripped her wand.

"Yes." She said shortly, glancing up at him. "I'm sure we can find some, we're all generally likeable people."

The attempt to lighten the mood was weak and no one felt any better about it. Remus wondered if he was the only one who had started having dreams of fighting, truly fighting, and not just some stupid school-duel, with the seventh year Slytherins.

"I'm starving. Moony, come with me to find the trolley, will ya?" Sirius said while standing and stretching. Remus caught himself staring at the outline of his friend's body through his muggle jumper and jeans. Actually, Lily caught him staring and kicked him from under the table. Luckily James was frowning into space and hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary.

"Yeah, sure." Remus said jumping up and glaring at the redhead who was regarding him with a sad smile.

The two wandered the train's halls for a few minutes as they searched for the plump old woman selling sweets. Once they had bought their fill of chocolates and cakes, the two decided to not waste time searching for an empty compartment, which both were sure was non-existent, and instead sat down in the narrow hall across from one another. Remus loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt a bit, miming gasping noises as he relaxed.

"Moony, do you have a hickey on your neck?" Sirius asked mischievously, wiggling his eyebrows at his reddening friend. Remus slapped his hand over the spot he assumed there would be a love-bite and Sirius laughed.

"Not there mate, other side."

Remus glared at him and dropped his hands, stuffing a chocolate frog in his mouth instead of responding.

"So who's the bird then?" Sirius asked, twirling some licorice around before he snapped off a large bite.

"No girl, Sirius."

"Mooney, I'm staring at the trail of marks on your neck. Either you're showing new symptoms or there's a girl."

"There's no _girl_." Remus emphasized. "I want a smoke, let's see if the bathroom's free."

Sirius stared at him for a moment, and Remus could hear the cogs working. Remus knew he knew. Peter had caught him in a lonely corridor with an older Ravenclaw boy last year and he had told James, who had told Sirius, but only James had asked him about it. Remus knew his oversimplified; "I like girls sometimes and boys other times, Prongs" had made it back to the others.

"What's his name then?" Sirius asked, as they gathered the rubbish from the floor and collected the rest of the uneaten candy. Sirius brought out a small pouch from his pocket and dropped the left-overs inside.

"This is new." Remus said hesitantly when he slid the toilet's door closed behind them. He turned and opened the narrow sliding window. As he rolled Sirius and himself a cigarette, Padfoot expanded the window to the best of his ability (it was the Hogwarts Express, after all, and the train resisted any magic performed on it, no matter how innocent).

"What? I just want to know who the bloke is." Sirius said with a shrug. Remus handed him the tightly rolled cigarette and lit his own with his wand.

"His name's Fred." Remus said lightly.

"Fred?"

"Fred Wintringham."

"Who's that?" Sirius asked.

"6th year, Hufflepuff."

"So you like 'em younger, then Moony?" Sirius teased. Remus rolled his eyes and flicked the ash at him

"Is it serious?" Sirius asked after a few seconds filled with the sound of the train chugging and the smell of tobacco in the air.

"Gods no." Remus muttered as he took a drag.

"Oi! Who's in there! No smoking on the train!"

Sirius closed his eyes and leaned his head back at the sound of his brother's voice.

"Did you hear him? Get out here!" A shrill voice shouted. Two fists pounded on the door. Remus flicked his cigarette out the window and cast a quick charm to get rid of the smell. Sirius, cigarette still between his lips opened the door and stared at Regulus.

"Sirius." Regulus said stiffly. The black-haired girl beside him tittered nervously, taking a step back. Remus eyed his friend cautiously. Encounters between the Black boys easily got out of hand. In seconds it could go from a silent stare-down to a full on duel that ended with both in the hospital wing. The older Slytherins had taught Regulus quite a few nasty spells.

"Reg." Sirius said with a nod.

"No smoking on the train." the girl tried again.

No one moved for a very long minute as the boys stared at each other.

"Let's keep going," Regulus said to his partner, squeezing past Remus and Sirius as he continued down the hallway. Sirius stared after his younger brother, anger and pain mixing together on his face. Remus reached out his hand but Sirius stepped away and stubbed his cigarette out on the carpet of the train.

"I'm sure James is hungry." Sirius finally said, striding towards the Prefect's compartment. Remus watched him walk away before he looked again at the black burn mark on the ground. He didn't bother to charm it away.

The two found James alone in the compartment, staring out the window watching the landscape roll by. He turned, saw it was only they, and decided not to move.

"Brought you some snacks, Prongs." Sirius said, his right arm raised and pressed against the window. He leaned forward to rest his forehead on his arm and breathed heavily onto the glass. When his breath appeared he traced a picture of a scruffy dog.

Remus pulled his weightless and shrunken school trunk out of his pocket. Placing it on the ground he restored it to normal size and carefully opened it. Most of his belongings had stayed neatly folded, but his carefully organized piles were no more. He sighed and fished around for his book. Once he had found it he re-shrunk the trunk and replaced it in his pocket.

"Where's Lily?" Remus asked James, opening the book to chapter two.

"She went to meet her friends, said she'd be back before the Slytherin's patrol was up." James took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He sifted through the pile of junk food and pulled out the half-finished bag of sugar mice Remus had been eating earlier. He shoved a handful in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully.

"Has anyone seen Peter?"

"He's with that new girlfriend of his." Sirius said, still glaring out at the trees and shrubs as the whizzed by.

"Sirius, she's not exactly new, they were together all last term." corrected Remus

"Yeah." Sirius said with a shrug.

"What was up with you and Lily, earlier?" Remus asked.

"Not sure what you mean." James said, purposefully being obtuse.

"Something's going on with you and Evans?" Sirius asked, pushing his hair from his eyes and looking at James. "Go on, tell Moony and Padfoot." He sat down across from him and placed his elbows on his knees with his hands folded under his chin. The perfect picture of intense interest.

"Nothing is going on there." James said with a sigh.

"I don't believe you." Remus said stubbornly.

The door slid open, James turned again, expecting Lily, only to be greeted with the sight of two Hufflepuff prefects.

"Hullo." he said with a fake smile.

"Er. Hi. We're a bit early," said the girl who was tall with bobbed curly blonde hair.

"No problem." James said, standing and walking back to the desk with Lily's list on it. He scanned the names of the Hufflepuff prefects for a moment before he looked up at the two who were still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"You can sit," he offered as two more Hufflepuffs entered. Sirius noticed the shorter one cast a broad smile at Remus as he walked over. Sirius narrowed his eyes at the boy's quiet tone.

"Hello, Remus. What are you reading?" This must be Fred, Sirius thought, noticing how his eyes lit up as he glanced down at his friend, and how he stood just close enough that Remus's shoulder would brush his hip if either of them moved ever so slightly.

"Just starting this year's Defense book."

"Anything interesting?" Fred asked, leaning down and placing his hand on Remus's shoulder, squeezing it gently as he read, "Defensive Spells Against an Unforgivable. Well, that's a bit dark."

Sirius snickered and Remus looked up sharply as his friend spoke.

"It is Defense Against the _Dark _Arts, you know."

"Black." Fred said smiling tightly, "how nice of you for your friend to let you sit in our compartment."

"Yeah, it was, wasn't it?" Sirius taunted, crossing his arms. He glared pointedly at Fred's hand that was still on Remus's shoulder. Fred got the message, dropping his hand and muttering a hurried goodbye as he went to sit by his fellow Hufflepuff prefects.

"I don't like him." Sirius whispered heatedly sitting down next to Remus.

"Oh? I couldn't tell." Remus drawled. Sirius glared, thinking he wasn't taking this seriously enough.

"What do you like about him anyway? He's quite short."

"Honestly?" Remus asked with a tight smile. Sirius nodded enthusiastically.

"He gives great he-"

"Potter. Black." The sleazy voice of Avery cut Remus off as the Slytherins trooped into the room. The Hufflepuff's didn't say a word as James, Sirius, and even Remus, stood placing their hands in their pockets in what appeared to be a casual manner. Their forearms tensed as each gripped his hand tightly.

The showdown was cut short as Lily entered the compartment, breathless.

"Excellent, everyone's here. Well, the Slytherins are finished. Hufflepuffs off you go! Don't forget to remind students to change into their robes!" Lily tried to smile as she gripped the stitch in her side tightly. No one moved for a moment and she bit her lip, her green eyes hardening.

"I said move it, everyone," she said tightly. The Slytherins turned on their heels and bumped her on their way out. Fred and his fellow badgers trailed out miserably.

"Could have used some support there, Potter." Lily snapped.

"I don't think you wanted my type of support, Lily." He responded, twirling his wand in his fingers.

"Yeah he probably would have just hexed them all." Sirius said with a snigger, his cheeks still flushed with awkward embarrassment at the image Remus had presented him of Fred.

The rest of the train ride went smoothly, Remus and James spent a half-hour walking along, hardly paying attention to anyone, with their heads together and whispering furiously. Most of the other students assumed they were planning another prank. Remus was, in fact, trying to convince James to not bring the war inside of Hogwarts by attacking some of the student Death Eaters. After fifteen minutes of intense arguing (and busting one noisy couple in a compartment near the front of the train) Remus managed to convince James it was better to recruit possible 'friends' rather than start waging battles in the halls of Hogwarts.

Sirius, for his part, spent the last two hours holed up in the toilets with two Ravenclaw girls, desperately trying to ignore the replaying images of Remus and Fred in his mind.

And Peter, well he and his girlfriend had a lovely train ride, playing gobstones, wizard's chess, looking through a magazine about Nifflers, and (Sirius would be quite proud of this bit) snogging for, Peter was sure, at least thirty minutes. It was, in his humble rat-opinion, the best train-ride ever.

The Welcome Feast provided much needed respite from the stress of the outside world and the four boys, finally reunited with Peter (who had blushed tomato red when Sirius hounded him about where he had been), gorged themselves, per usual, on the delicious food. At the end of the meal, Dumbledore stood and spread his arms widely.

"Prefects! Please show your new students to their new homes!"

James stood up and ambled over to Lily. Remus followed and all three simultaneously shouted "First Years!" They shared a brief smile, before surveying the newest Gryffindor recruits. Remus had, frankly, ignored every moment of the Sorting Ceremony, as he was too preoccupied with the places where his leg was touching Sirius's. These first years seemed as scrawny as ever, their hats much too large and drooping forward.

"This way, please!" Lily said pleasantly. A little girl tugged Remus's robes as the group set off.

"Excuse me," she said calmly. "I need to send an owl to my parents."

"Well, the owlery is in the West Tower. I can show you how to get there once we reach our common room." Remus said.

"No, I need to send it to them now. You don't understand." Her eyes were boring into Remus's.

"Alright. Let's go then." He grabbed her small hand and led her up the winding flights of stairs to the owlery.

James looked back at him questioningly, but he waved him on.

Once they had reached the top, Remus turned to the girl.

"I guess you don't have parchment or anything with you?"

"No. It's in my trunk." she bit her lip nervously while Remus sighed. He pulled his trunk out of his pocket once more and returned it to its original size. The girl did not seem very shocked, which led Remus to believe she was at least half-blood. He rifled around and pulled up a clean sheet of parchment and a quill.

"Thank you," she said, taking the items from him. She closed the lid of his trunk and used it as a desk. He watched her as she wrote.

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_I was sorted into Gryffindor. I hope Amy is proud of me. I'll be safe here, but I know that you need to leave because I remember what you told me this summer when Professor Dumbledore visited._

_I love you,_

_Christie_

The girl stood up and folded the letter while Remus tried to pretend he hadn't read it over her shoulder. She seemed to know, anyhow.

"My sister was killed this summer. She was an auror. She was in Gryffindor too. Dumbledore said it was a warning to my family." She looked up at him and Remus noticed how hard her young hazel eyes were. "I don't think I'll be able to find my parents again for a long time." She tied the letter to the foot of a large tawny barn owl and watched it fly through the window as Remus replaced his trunk in his pocket.

She turned and grabbed Remus's hand, "Let's go, its cold up here."

Remus stared down at the young girl as she led him back down the spiraling staircase. He had tried to tell James to keep the war out of Hogwarts, he had hoped, naively he now saw, that Hogwarts would be one last safe haven from the horrors outside.

When Christie and he made it to the Gryffindor common room Remus breathed deeply as he took in the sights of his friends scattered around the warm room. Lily and the other seventh year girls were grouped around some floor cushions, talking quickly about their summers. The marauders were joking around the fireplace, flicking dungbombs at each other, and Remus saw for the first time since his father's funeral, the desperate haunting look had left James's face. Maybe it was just the warm glow from the fireplace that created that illusion, but Remus found himself squeezing Christie's hand happily before he waved goodbye and strode to join his friends.

As he sunk into the deeply cushioned scarlet armchair that James, Peter, and Sirius had knowingly saved for him, he felt every muscle in his body relax. The stress of the last month, of the last year, faded into the background and Remus found he could ignore fears of the war for the first time in a long time, and simply enjoyed being around his friends.

"Oi, what'd that scrawny first year want?" Sirius demanded.

"Mail a letter to her parents. She wanted to let them know she was in Gryffindor."

"Because Gryffindor is the best house in Hogwarts!" Sirius shouted with a roar and flourish of his wand, releasing a shimmering gold lion's head from the tip of the dark wood. The other students around the common room cheered and clapped at his announcement.

Even Lily Evans cracked a smile. James caught her eye from across the room and his hand slipped into his robe pocket, touching the letter she had sent him the night his father had died. She nodded at him slightly and the two returned their attention to their own friends.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are not only welcomed, but adored. **


	3. A Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter

_30 July 1977_

_Potter,_

_I've just received an owl from Remus with the news of your father. I hope you won't be upset with him for telling me._

_I know that last term we parted on a particularly bad note…so I hope you believe me when I say that I'm very sorry for your loss. You never told me much about your dad (why would you?), but from Remus I know that you looked up to him a lot. He sounds like he was a wonderful auror and I know he will be missed by many._

_I think I know the fear you're probably feeling right now. Not a fear of dying, but a fear that those around you will die. Every time I leave the house I'm afraid I'll come back to find the Dark Mark hovering over it and my parents gone._

_I'm not just afraid for them. I'm afraid for all the young students at Hogwarts, all the clueless muggles, and the people I don't know who may end up dead. I've started having the Daily Prophet delivered here. I cut out every article that mentions a death and have spelled them to my ceiling. I look up at them before I fall asleep. I make them invisible when I leave my room so my mum doesn't come in and start reading them. She knows something is going on, but I'm too afraid to tell her._

_The numbers of the dead are staggering. Yesterday there was a story of a young girl who was found in her parents' front yard. Her mother was a muggle, you see. They had cut the Dark Mark into her arm with a cursed blade. Do you know how old she was? Six. These people out there, they disgust me. How can they do these things? How can they believe this is right?_

_I don't know why I'm writing all of this. Honestly, it was just supposed to be a simple letter to let you know I'm sorry about your dad. That last story probably wasn't comforting at all. I shouldn't send this but I've known you since we were children even if I've never felt very strong positive feelings towards you (blame yourself, Potter, what 11-year old girl would like a boy who sends Howlers to her for a month demanding she go out with him?) but I need you to know that if you need anything my family and I are here for you. In times like these we all have to stick together._

_I'll see you on the train,_

_Lily Evans_

_p.s. Congratulations on making Head Boy I'm sure your mother is very proud. And I know your father would be too, Remus said he had been Head Boy when he was at Hogwarts._


	4. Chapter 3

**Year 7**

**1977**

**Late September**

Remus rolled over with a groan. He could feel the full moon, only a day away, in every joint, fiber of muscle, and hair follicle. Peter's Muggle alarm clock, which his mother had spelled to work within Hogwarts, was making a horrific beeping noise. James ripped open his curtains and stumbled to the bathroom. As usual, there was no movement behind the curtains of Sirius's bed. Remus groped around on the floor for the thick wool socks that he always tossed there before falling asleep. He cast a light warming charm on them and slipped them on, struggling to remain under his blankets for as long as possible.

"Peter! Turn that fucking thing off." James grumbled, upon his return from the bathroom.

Peter's stubby fingers scrambled around on his nightstand for his wand and he cast a hasty silencing charm at the alarm. Remus, deciding it was worth braving the cold world outside his bed sheets for the promise of a hot shower, did his best to hobble as quickly as possible to the bathroom. He grabbed his towel, which was the only one hanging up neatly (the other boys dropped theirs in most heaps on the ground under the bathroom sink, something Remus found utterly repulsive) and shut the door behind him. He had left his wand on his nightstand and had to fiddle with the shower knobs by hand until he got the water to the right temperature. More importantly, no wand meant no warming charm on his towel and no drying charm on his hair.

Moony was lathering his almost-too-long hair (a nice eucalyptus scented shampoo, of course) when the door creaked open and Sirius stumbled into the bathroom. Remus was not bothered by this. The four boys had a carefully constructed morning routine that always included Sirius blindly stumbling about and knocking over James's cologne collection as he searched for his toothbrush.

Remus reached for his towel and turned the water off. He scurried from the damp shower to the sink with his towel around his waist. His muscles, which had temporarily found relief under the stream of hot water, began to tense and ache as soon as Remus stepped into the cooler air.

Sometimes Padfoot would still be preening in front of the mirror when Remus came to grab his purple toothbrush, other days he would already have returned to the dorm room. Today however, he disrupted the schedule and began stripping out of his pajamas.

"Left any hot water?" he asked Remus, covertly eyeing his friend's back as he stepped into the shower stall.

The little drops of water from Remus's hair were dripping down his spine, halting just after two little dimples above the towel. Soaked up forever. Remus mumbled the affirmative through a mouthful of foamy toothpaste. Their eyes locked in the mirror for a moment and he could have sworn he saw Sirius _wink_ at him. Remus spit out the toothpaste and rinsed his mouth as he heard Sirius step under the water.

"Are you singing ABBA?" Remus asked incredulously.

"You are a dancing queen! Young and sweet, only seventeen!" Sirius pulled back a portion of the curtain and flung some soap suds at Remus's face.

There was, Remus noted, an abundance of soap suds. Half of Sirius's face was covered with them. His hair was white and fluffy and there were trails of the iridescent bubbles oozing slowly down his friends chest. Remus found himself distracted by one particular river which seemed determined to drip straight down the middle, cutting a foamy line on Sirius's lovely chest, and, he imagined, across the plane of his stomach, further down... Remus blinked and looked back up at Sirius's face.

"Are you washing your beard?"

"Yep!" Sirius cried triumphantly, slapping the sides of his face.

"Padfoot, you don't have a beard."

"You can daaaaance! You can jiiiiive! Having the time of your life! Ohhhh!"

Remus fled the bathroom.

James was struggling to put his shoes on the wrong feet and Remus was greeted with Peter's pale flabby back as he shimmied into his school trousers. It was, he decided, quite a normal Monday after all.

"I'm going to meet Lily in the Great Hall." James announced, nervously rubbing the back of his head so that the hair stood up in frightening disarray.

"Oh, Prongsie, have you and Evans got a breakfast date?" Sirius teased from the bathroom door.

"We have to plan the prefect's meeting and our free periods are different. Plus with Quidditch and all the tutoring she does, this was the only option."

"Well, don't have too much fun now." Sirius said, patting his friend's cheek with a smirk.

"It's a planning meeting, Sirius."

"Yes, we know, we know."

"Cheers, then." James said as he strode out of the room.

"He doesn't even react when I bait him about Evans anymore. I'm worried about him. We need to do something." Sirius frowned across the room at Remus and Peter.

"What can we do?" Peter asked in defeat. He shrugged on his black school robes and combed his fingers through his fine blonde hair.

"Don't look at me!" Remus said, throwing both hands up and shaking his head as the other two rounded on him.

"Come on, Moony. You've got to have an idea!" Peter pushed.

"I don't. Honestly." All three friends lowered there eyes and contemplated the problem of their grieving friend. Sirius's stomach rumbled loudly after a few short seconds.

"Er, mind if we brainstorm in the Great Hall? I'm absolutely starving."

"How you're even hungry, I can't understand. How many chocolate frogs did you eat last night?" Remus asked him. The three grabbed their school bags and plodded down the stairs.

"Not as many as you, you chocolate fiend."

"I don't know, Sirius. I think you might have eaten more than Moony last night…" Peter was a step behind the others, already happily contemplating which jam he would use for his toast this morning.

"Impossible!" Sirius shouted.

"Do you think they'll have raspberry jam this morning?" Remus asked aloud. Peter grinned broadly; happy to see he wasn't the only one already planning his meal.

"Oi, Evans! What're you doing here, don't you and James have a meeting?" Sirius shouted across the common room once the three Marauders arrived at the bottom of their staircase.

Lily Evans was seated in her usual spot, a window seat near the fireplace, and was already pouring through a textbook. Remus thought it might be the charms text, judging by its purple binding.

"Um. No?"

The three friends traded serious looks and Peter ran up the stairs claiming to have forgotten something. He returned after a minute, completely breathless.

"It's gone." His blue eyes were wide with panic (and exertion, poor guy hadn't run up any stairs in quite some time) as he regarded Sirius and Remus.

"Let's start in the Great Hall, take a quick look. Then we'll split up. We have to hurry because our first class is Transfiguration and McGonagall will be livid if we're all late." Remus spoke in hushed tones to Peter and Sirius.

The three boys were huddled together and Lily regarded them with suspicion.

"Was the cloak missing as well?" Sirius prodded Peter with his finger in the boy's shoulder. He nodded emphatically.

"We might not find him then." Sirius said with a sigh.

"Come on." Remus said, ignoring his friend's pessimism.

Moony, Wormtail, and Padfoot hustled to the Great Hall, knocking down a poor first-year Ravenclaw in their rush.

"Sorry!" Peter cried hurriedly over his shoulder as his friends sped up, threatening to leave him behind.

"Nothing." Sirius said through a full slice of toast a few moments later as they stood at the end of the Gryffindor table. He, Peter, and Remus were grabbing as many slices of toast and pieces of bacon as possible while their eyes carefully scanned the hall for James.

"Split up, then. Peter, Room of Requirement. I'll take a quick look by the lake. Remus, Astronomy Tower or Owlery?"

"Owlery." Peter said sternly, cutting Remus off.

"Right. Break!" Sirius shouted, dashing through the doors without glancing to see if the others were following him.

"Meet us outside the Transfiguration classroom, don't be late, Peter!" Remus scuttled off in the direction of the West Tower.

Really, James could have gone to hide anywhere, the castle was huge and the Marauders had of course spent the last six years trying to find as many nooks and crannies for hiding as possible. Without the map it was highly unlikely they would find James, unless he wanted to be found. Remus seriously doubted that. He was trying to hustle up the stairs, but his body was too sore and tired with the oncoming transformation and he found himself pausing every five steps to take a deep breath. When he reached the top of the tower he glanced around. There was no sign of Prongs, but he noticed the young first year girl from last night sitting on the window-ledge with a piece of parchment in her hands.

"Um, you really shouldn't sit like that. You might fall."

"I'm not going to fall." She said sharply, glaring at him. Remus felt bad, as he had clearly startled her. A fat tear slipped down her right cheek and he felt his chest tighten as he looked down at the paper in her hand closely. His heart thudded violently when he saw the barest hint of a purple seal.

"What are you holding?" he asked anxiously. She flung it across the room at him. The parchment, heavy as it was with wax only fluttered halfway and landed among the hay and owl droppings on the floor.

Remus stooped down and picked it up carefully.

_Miss Carrie Wittrow,_

_I regret to inform you that earlier this morning your parents were found dead in their home. An investigation is on-going but all current evidence points to foul-play and possibly murder. You will be contacted soon with more information. _

_As a student of Hogwarts I urge you to speak with your Head of House immediately. Professor McGonagall has been notified and will have more information for you._

_I am sorry for your loss and wish you the very best for your new school year._

_Signed,_

_Frank Longbottom_

_Auror _

Remus let the letter fall once more to the ground and stepped forward towards the girl.

"Carrie? If you follow me I can bring you to Professor McGonagall." He held out his hand and noticed it was shaking. How dare they, he thought to himself, how _dare_ they ruin this girl's life.

She stood, shockingly obedient and lucid after receiving such news, and held tightly to Remus's hand. She grabbed the letter from the ground and held it carefully in her free hand. She was squeezing so hard that Remus thought she might meld the bones of his fingers together.

"Quite the grip you've got there. I'm sure you'd never drop your wand in a fight." Remus said awkwardly as the pair descended the stairs.

Remus felt a headache coming on as he thought about James's father and now the family of this scrappy little first-year.

"Do you think my parents got my letter?" She asked him, seeming to ignore Remus's comment.

"I'm not sure." Remus said quietly.

"I'm going to kill them one day. The people who did this."

Remus was taken aback by her matter-of-fact statement and couldn't bring himself to say anything else as he led the girl to the Transfiguration classroom. A quick glance at his watch told him they had two minutes until class started. That meant McGonagall would be in front of the blackboard writing out the plan for that morning's class. Sirius and Peter weren't waiting for him outside, but Remus found them seated near James when he entered the class. He frowned in confusion at the seating arrangement. James was sharing a table with Lily in the first row, while Sirius and Peter sat behind them.

"Ah, Mr. Lupin, I see you've found Ms. Wittrow. Thank you." She took the girls hand and, Remus was amazed, smiled down at her softly.

"Copy the notes on the board and begin reading Chapter 3. I shall return in half an hour. I trust you all to act like the adults you are in my absence."

McGonagall led the girl from the room with a quick glance at Sirius and Peter. She was not smiling at the seventh years.

"Who was that, Remus?" Lily asked, leaning back to look around James as Remus sat at the empty table across the aisle.

"She's a first year, I found her in the Owlery reading a letter from the Aurors. Her parents have been murdered."

"Isn't that the same one who sent a letter to her parents last night letting them know she'd been sorted into Gryffindor?" Sirius asked quickly.

"Why would they send a letter like that to such a young girl?" Lily asked. There were lines of confusion and sadness on her pale face.

Remus closed his eyes and placed his face in his hands.

"What is it, Moony?" Sirius asked standing and coming to sit in the seat next to him.

"Her sister was an auror. She was murdered this summer. So I'd guess that little first-year is the only one of her family who is even still alive."

"Oh." Lily said breathlessly, clearly expressing just how speechless they all were at the moment. Sirius looked down at his hands and picked nervously at his nails, a large frown on his face.

"Things are moving too quickly." Peter said softly, anxiously glancing up at Remus who nodded in agreement.

"Yes, Pete. Yes, they are." James said suddenly, patting his friend on the shoulder. "We can't do anything about it at the moment though, so we might as well copy down Minnie's notes and do like she asked."

"Potter are you ill?" Lily asked, trying to joke with him.

"Yeah, Lils. I'm sick of people being murdered. But I can't go and start killing Death Eaters, now can I? Dumbledore made me Head Boy, which means he wants me stuck in this bloody castle for another year. I might as well try and learn while I'm here."

Lily didn't even berate him for using her nickname, she was in such shock at his response, and turned to copy the notes on the board. Everyone else did the same, even the Ravenclaws who had been eavesdropping. All of them were feeling guilty for being there when that girl's parents were cold and dead.

The N.E.W.T level Transfiguration class was a mix of students from all houses. McGonagall had very high requirements for her course since it was a requirement of some of the most demanding professions, and limited the number of students per section to twenty. There were only fifteen students in this section of the course, and the only one from Slytherin was the infamous Severus Snape. The class worked diligently and quietly to copy the Professor's outline and there was hardly any chatter as everyone read, and in some cases re-read, Chapter Three: Introduction to Human Transformation. The Marauders were finding it extremely boring and Sirius began doodling in the margins of his textbook.

"That's quite good, Padfoot." Remus said, looking carefully at the miniature rendition of Padfoot in the glowing navy ink that Sirius preferred to use.

"Just a doodle." Sirius said with a shrug, but he smiled at Remus anyway. Remus smiled back and the two studied each other. Sirius had been replaying the image of Fred and Remus he had conjured up on the train and had found himself quite angry with the Hufflepuff boy in his head. He had been trying to work it out, and had come to the conclusion that perhaps he shouldn't talk to Remus about his flings with boys again. Did that make him homophobic? He thought to himself, panicking.

Remus, clueless to Sirius's thoughts, was looking him up and down. Repeatedly. It had been two years since Sirius had kissed his cheeks, and Remus couldn't remember anymore how it had felt when Sirius's full pink lips had brushed his skin. He hadn't forgotten it had happened, but instead he had filed it away carefully and went on convinced that Sirius had done it out of friendship. He found himself coming back to idea's of Sirius's pink lips around many a full-moon, however, when he felt more...frisky than usual. It was harder in those moments for him to ignore how attractive he found Sirius, an attraction that he felt simply made their friendship stronger.

Remus was careful with his feelings. He hadn't developed any for Fred, that was certain. There had been a seventh year Ravenclaw before Fred whom he had been very attached to. He had found it difficult to manage his growing feelings with the knowledge that the wizard would leave soon. Remus had ended their relationship over the holidays of 6th year. The older boy hadn't understood how Remus's mind worked. You see, Remus was in love with all of his friends. He would die for any one of the Marauders, for Lily, and certainly there were a few others, but those four were the most prominent. At first, he thought his love for his friends was dependent on their acceptance of him as a werewolf, but Lily had made him realize that his heart followed no logic; the love of Remus Lupin was free and independent of the need for reciprocation.

Sirius was shifting around in his seat when he noticed Remus's honey eyes dragging themselves down his face, neck, torso, stopping at the desk, and making the return trip back up. He was really very close to saying something, his mouth was slightly open, when Professor McGonagall returned.

"Black! What is the name of the spell that forcibly returns an animagus to its human form?"

"Animagus Reversal Spell." Sirius said quickly, following up with the incantation. Lily's eyebrows flew together in confusion and she frantically searched through the chapter. Remus heard James sigh heavily.

"That incantation wasn't in the chapter." McGonagall said shrewdly.

"Professor! I'm shocked you would try and trick me like that, ten points from Gryffindor!" Sirius said loudly with a smile on his face.

The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws in the class laughed at Sirius, but Remus could see his own laughter didn't go all the way to his eyes, which were guarded nervously. McGonagall had been asking the Marauders too many questions about animagi since last term.

She didn't push it further today and began lecturing. Remus loved Transfiguration, if he was honest with himself he loved all of his classes, but he felt that McGonagall was perhaps one of the best teachers at Hogwarts. Even though she lectured for the full hour and a half that was left to that period without allowing the students to take a break, the room was filled with the sound of scratching quills as the students struggled to catch everything she said. Even Sirius was doing his best to keep up with his favorite Professor. Remus snuck a look at his friend's notes and was mildly surprised to see neatly organized bullet points and charts drawn carefully.

The hourglass at the front of the room let out a soft charming noise and flipped itself back over, the sand changing from emerald green to a shinning gold.

"Everyone will prepare a two foot draft on today's lecture, in addition to using outside research including three outside texts on the Animagus transformation process. You may focus on any aspect of it that you wish. I will collect these on Wednesday! I expect it to be well researched; this should not be a repeat of what you handed me in third-year. That being said, I have given you all permission to use the restricted section for the next two days. You would do well to time yourselves in preparation for your N.E.W.T.'s in the spring." McGonagall said as everyone stuffed books and quills back into their bags.

Lily was chewing her lip in concentration as she left the room, no doubt, Remus thought, planning out her essay already.

"Off to potions, then?" Sirius asked Remus and James. "What about you, Peter? Gunna go take a nice nap before lunch?" The other Marauders were jealous of Wormtail's impressive eight free periods this year.

"No, I've got to work on that Charms essay for tomorrow and I'd like to find some of those books we used in fourth year."

"Excellent idea, Wormtail. Bring the good ones back to the dorm, will ya? You know how I hate that library." Sirius said with a bright grin to their friend.

"Sure thing, Pads. That'll cost you exactly six chocolate frogs and a bag of sugar quills." Peter said jokingly.

"You've got a deal." And the two shook on it.

Remus grinned and hurried out of the classroom after James, leaving Sirius and Peter behind for a moment.

"James! James! Wait up!" Remus shouted down the narrow hall. The second years, which apparently had transfiguration next, were crowding around and making it difficult for Remus to wade through. James was leaning against a large suit of armor when he finally made it out of the sea of un-trained wizards and witches.

"Where were you this morning? We spoke to Lily and she said you didn't have a meeting."

"I just needed a walk." James said with a shrug, the corners of his lips turning down slightly, a telltale sign he was lying.

"With the cloak and the map?" Remus pushed.

"I didn't want to be bothered." James said quietly, looking at Remus out of the corner of his eyes.

"You've never been much of a loner before." Remus accused as gently as possible.

James took a deep breath, as if searching for patience, and Remus was anxious that he might have upset the taller wizard. His friend didn't say anything though until they reached the dungeons when he saw Remus chewing his lip as he looked around at the seating arrangements.

"You can sit with Lily this time. Sorry about that, she just kind of sat down in McGonagall's classroom."

Remus wanted to argue and say that he wasn't upset about the change in seating arrangements, because honestly he didn't mind either way, but something about the serious look on James's face kept him quiet.

"Hello, Remus." Lily said brightly as the werewolf dropped his bag on the ground and took a seat on the stool next to her. He heard Sirius sit down next to James a minute later.

"Hey, Lils. What're you going to do your essay on?"

"Well, at first I was thinking I would focus on the potion aspect, but then I realized McGonagall might like that, so I tossed that idea out. I'm really interested in how the transformation is achieved without a wand though. I mean, after a witch has mastered the initial change, how does the magic linger to cause the subsequent transformations? Is it just a wandless spell? Transfiguration is so exact that I'm really curious to see how that works, ya know?" She paused to take another breath after her spiel, "What about you?"

"Not sure yet. I might write about what happens when it goes wrong. Some of the stories I read about it are quite gruesome."

"Settle down, class! Settle down!" Slughorn said happily. Remus looked around the room. To call it a class was a bit of a stretch. In addition to the four Gryffindors, there were two Ravenclaws and Snape.

"Today," Slughorn continued while rubbing his round belly through his straining orange velvet vest, "I will be allowing you to pick any potion from Chapter 6 of your text for you to brew. You have the full two hours, and if you choose something that requires a bit more time I will allow you to continue next class as well. You have five minutes to decide and begin." He clapped his hand three times, his way of letting the students know it was time to get to work.

Lily quickly turned to Remus and told him she honestly just wanted to work on something simple today.

"Sluggie will never stand for you slacking off, oh Wondrous Potions Prodigy." Remus teased, ruffling her hair.

"You're right…" Lily said, biting her lip, ignoring the way her pony-tail was now rumpled. "And if I don't have a good enough idea he'll pair me up with Severus and make us create something again. I really don't have my head on right to do that today."

"Is combining potions any better? Say, Veritaserum and something else?" Remus said quickly as the two saw Slughorn waddling over.

"And what will you be working on today Ms. Evans?" he asked exuberantly.

"I was hoping to try the Moonseed Poison and," she began but Slughorn interrupted.

"That is the same level as other poison's we brewed last term." Slughorn said, a tone of disappointment coloring his voice.

"Yes, professor, but Remus here had an idea to change it slightly by combining it with Veritaserum. We will be brewing the antidote as well. You see, you need both. So that the taker is threatened with death upon taking the Veritaserum by the Moonseed Poison, but if they answer the questions the antidote can be administered."

"Well. My… that is quite the… you two have really thought this one out." Slughorn finally sputtered, looking a little put out over what he saw as homicidal tendencies in his brightest student.

"I'll let you know if we reach any problems, Professor." Lily said with a sweet smile.

The potions Professor nodded and predictably headed towards the table of Severus, where the two sat in quiet discussion for quite some time.

"Lily," Remus began with a small, amused smile, "you do realize that I have no idea how to combine two potions like this, right?"

"Well, Lupin, you're going to learn. Its your own damn fault for suggesting it in the first place." Lily said roughly.

She spent the two hours trying to be patient as she explained the complexities of altering and creating potions.

"Come on, Remus! It's just Golpalott's Third Law!" She cried in exasperation after nearly an hour.

"Lily, I know Golpalott's Third Law, and this is not it. What you're doing is, well, it's like-"

"Magic?" she said, not amused.

Remus blushed and added the next ingredient as he carefully followed the neatly written instructions in lavender ink that Lily had given him.

"I'll keep stirring this if you go get these ingredients. They should be on the right, at the top. I can't reach that far up." Lily handed him another list, which he read back to her to make sure it was correct.

He stood up and headed carefully to the supply closet, holding his breath as he passed the cauldron of the Ravenclaws, which smelled quite putrid.

"I think it's best if we just start again," the girl was saying to the boy, patting his arm gently.

Remus found Sirius inside the supply closet, desperately searching the shelves.

"What's up, Padfoot?" he said brightly.

"Hey, mate. How's it going with Evans?"

"She decided to make her own potion, and has been trying to teach me about the very complicated and delicate art of potion-making."

Sirius snorted.

"Sounds tragic." he said honestly. Remus shrugged and pulled down one of the vials Lily had listed.

"Pads, can you reach that squiggly green one up there for me?" Remus asked the boy since he stood at least three inches taller than the werewolf.

"Yeah, no problem." Sirius said standing behind Remus and reaching up. His hand was on Remus's hip for balance, so he told himself, and the entire front of his body pressed up against Moony as he grabbed the bottle of thick viscous sludge. Remus was frozen.

This wasn't the first time in the boy's long friendship that Sirius had been extra touchy. Growing up around the other wizard, Remus was well aware that Sirius considered physical contact very important. However, that was traditionally limited to light punches, headlocks, slaps on the back, moderate tickling, and things of that nature. Gentle grasps on his hip had not ever been part of the program.

"Here you go," Sirius said, holding the bottle in front of Remus's eyes, not moving from behind Remus or taking his hand off his waist.

"Cheers, Pads." he said quietly.

"Mhmm." Sirius said as Remus turned around to face him. Remus was hoping he would get the message that he was trying to leave. Instead, he found himself confronted with the space between Sirius's mouth and the knot of his tie, their chests occasionally bumping together when they breathed in at the same time.

"Remus!" Lily shouted just as the wizard was contemplating what it would feel like to trace his lips across his friend's neck.

"Coming!" he cried back, scooting sideways and out of the closet without glancing back at Sirius.

"You're all flushed." Lily said with a giggle when he sat down. "Oh, and look, there's Black coming out of the supply closet. He looks a bit pink in the cheeks as well." She whispered this against Remus's ear, careful that no one else would hear, and Remus turned to glare at her.

"Touched a nerve, have I?" she asked with a smirk.

"Leave it, Lily." Remus said quickly.

"Fine. I'll leave it for now. But you owe me a long conversation. I've caught you two staring at each other nearly every class for the past month. Something's going on and I want to know what it is."

"Lily. Nothing, I mean, absolutely nothing, is going on there. What I feel towards Sirius is the same thing I feel about you."

Remus's statement wasn't a lie, exactly. He did love Lily and Sirius both, and he did find Lily attractive (something he once let slip to James and thus earned himself a black eye), but the witch was lacking whatever it was about Sirius that had recently caught Remus's attention. Or, re-caught rather, because if you remember, Remus's attention had been caught by Sirius when they were in their fifth year.

"I know about your twisty word games, Lupin. I won't let you wiggle yourself out of this one because of semantics. You and I are having a date this weekend, and you're going to spill." Lily was speaking quietly still as she carefully measured the green sludge, but there was a huge smile on her face as her eyes flicked up to Remus, who was blushing.

"Fine." he acquiesced hotly.

Lily's grin grew even more.

"There is one downside to you all being there during the moon." Remus said as he slipped his school tie around his neck the Wednesday morning after his transformation.

"What's that?" James asked worriedly.

"I'm hardly ever hurt badly enough to skip the next day of classes." Remus said with a grimace as his sore fingers struggled with his tie. Sirius stepped forward and helped him.

"We'll make sure to beat you up a bit more next time, Moony." Sirius teased lightly, smoothing down Remus's wrinkled school shirt.

Remus gulped as his friend's hands ran down his chest and paused slightly on his stomach, which tensed as he held his breath. Sirius looked up at him, expressionless, until they heard the Matron walking towards them.

"Mr. Lupin, here's your pepper-up potion!" Fairley said with too much enthusiasm for any of the sleepless boys to stomach.

"Thank you Ms. Fairley." he said weakly as he choked the double strength pepper-up potion down.

"Off to Transfiguration boys!" she practically sung.

Peter and James had fallen asleep but suddenly jumped awake when her off-key falsetto reached their ears.

"Ughh. How are we going to make it through two hours with Minnie?" Peter groaned loudly.

"It's okay, Petey," Sirius said slowly, just as tired as the rest, "James smuggled plenty of breakfast for all of us."

With that, James did indeed reveal the wonderful breakfast spread he had stashed in his specially enlarged robe pockets. Each of the boys took a muffin and several pieces of greasy bacon.

"I'm parched." Peter said as they walked quickly, but not too quickly as Remus's left leg was still giving a slight twinge with every other step, towards the Transfiguration classroom. Sirius pulled out a flask of pumpkin juice and the boys passed it around silently.

"I swear, if Minnie lectures all period I'm going to be snoring fifteen minutes in." Sirius confessed as they walked into the room.

"Me too." Remus agreed with a giant yawn.

"I can't believe Dumbledore doesn't let you take today off." Peter said with a slight shake of his head.

"It's N.E.W.T.'s Pete. You know I can't afford to miss a class."

"Yeah. It just doesn't seem very fair to you." Peter said miserably.

Remus ruffled his hair and smiled at the boy. Of them all, Peter was the one who had always said that it wasn't _fair_ that Remus was a werewolf. It made Remus happy to think that his gentle friend sympathized with him so much.

The four were so tired they didn't notice all of the desks had been removed until they walked into the haphazard ring of students.

"Hello, what's this?" James asked, raising an eyebrow.

"So good of you to volunteer Mr. Potter." McGonagall said from the front of the room. The other three Marauders quickly slipped from the circle and tried to melt in with their fellow students.

Lily looked at Remus and squeezed his hand mouthing, _How was it?_ to which Remus replied with a shrug. She nodded and looked back towards where James stood, dropping his hand.

"What exactly have I volunteered for?" James said tiredly, dropping his bag on the floor.

"Well, the librarian has informed me that each and everyone of you spent time in the Restricted Section researching these papers, so I thought I would reward you all with a free period."

"We can go back to sleep?" Peter shouted happily.

"No, Mr. Pettigrew. Unfortunately, you must stay in class. But I have decided that today we will practice dueling."

Everyone around the circle whispered to each other, except for Lily and Severus, who wore identical frowns on their faces.

"Mr. Potter, you may chose your first partner and then I will explain the rules."

James carefully turned on the spot, examining his classmates, trying to decide whom to pick. In the past, he might have chosen to duel against Snape, but after the death of his father, James realized how important it was to learn as much as possible while he was here. He needed to duel with someone who's magic he wasn't as familiar with, but who he knew would be just as strong. He didn't know the skill level of the Ravenclaws, and while he knew Remus and Sirius would match, possibly even beat him, he knew their magic patterns as well as his own. That only left one option, really.

"Evans?" he offered with a quip of his lips.

"Yes, alright." she said quietly stepping forward.

"There are only two rules," Professor McGonagall began, shocking all of the students. "Do not use any Unforgiveables, and do not kill one another."

She nodded at James and Lily, who were regarding one another carefully.

"Everyone step back and have your wands at the ready in case you need to deflect any rogue spells. It is your job to protect yourself." McGonagall made eye contact with each of her students to ensure they understood.

"Very well. Evans, Potter, please step back from each other five more paces and prepare to duel on my count."

The two took careful steps back, wands already drawn, eyeing each other hungrily. Lily had lost herself already in the heady pulsing of her magic in her veins. She could feel her excitement build and knew that Potter was feeling the same.

"Three, two," McGonagall began her countdown, but before she had even finished saying 'two' both duelists had suddenly fired at one another, James a fraction behind Lily as he responded to her silent spell-casting, only being able to guess the type of spell by the quick and efficient jabs of the witch's wand.

Remus glanced quickly at McGonagall to see her reaction and was amused to see her smiling proudly at two of her very best students.

The duel was fierce and violent. Remus himself had to cast _protego_ three times and he knew he wasn't the only one. He knew James was tired, he could see it in his eyes, but also in the way his aim was just slightly off. Evans could feel it too, he knew by the glint in her own green eyes as she took a step forward.

"Come on, Potter. You're lagging!" She goaded from across the room. James set his mouth tightly and fired a rapid succession of spells, gaining the offensive for the first time since they began dueling. Remus could tell by the few verbal spells that the pair used that their aim was not to knock the other's wand from their hand. James and Lily were in a race of endurance, a marathon that required not only stamina, but creativity and knowledge.

The three girls from Ravenclaw were cheering Lily on passionately, booing every time James landed a hit. She had a small cut on her lip and her hair was still smoking from when James had set it on fire. She had removed his glasses and managed to pin his left arm behind his back, effectively throwing him off balance.

He heard Lily shout triumphantly as she twirled her wand aggressively around her head, down her side, ending with a quick flourish at her hip, a combination of movements that Remus had never seen before. The result was easier to discern than the spell; James found himself spinning wildly in a circle. Remus looked again at McGonagall who was following the duel closely with squinted eyes. She did not look like she was going to step in. All of the students were silent, holding their breath.

"Come on, James!" Sirius shouted harshly. Everyone gasped as James's wand flew out of the cyclone. Lily grinned and lowered her wand, taking a deep breath.

Before McGonagall could say anything, Sirius had jumped in and turned towards Lily, releasing spells at the unprepared girl. As she sprouted tentacles for hands (which made it quite difficult to grasp her wand, which had suddenly become very slippery) Remus jumped in front of her, wand out as he turned on his best friend.

"So nice of you to join me, Rem." Sirius said with a dramatic bow, giving Remus the perfect shot.

He saw James stop spinning behind Sirius as Lily uttered the counter curse. She carefully walked around the ring of students, an eye on the dueling Sirius and Remus, to approach James.

Remus was lost in the exchange of flashing light and his heart was racing as he stared carefully at Sirius's face and wand arm. His friend wore a maniacal grin that Remus found rather unnerving.

"The first one to disarm the opponent receives an extra ten points on their next assignment!" McGonagall cried from behind Remus.

Sirius, not interested in his grades, ignored her and continued firing bizarre and overwhelming spells at the werewolf. Remus simply defended himself and waited. He knew Sirius would run out of spells in the next ten seconds, he knew the boy's style, and in the brief two milliseconds as Sirius regrouped he would have his chance.

There!

Remus sent a stinging hex directly at Sirius's wand-hand, followed immediately by a tripping hex. As his friend yelled sharply and fell forward, he silently lifted him into the air and floated him up towards the ceiling of the room.

Sirius, now wandless, wiggled helplessly in midair.

"Put me down, Remus!" Sirius shouted.

"Make him, Mr. Black!" McGonagall challenged, placing a hand on Remus's wand-arm.

Sirius crumpled his face in concentration, whispering furiously and the whole room watched as he struggled with the wandless magic.

"Agh!" Remus shouted suddenly, losing his concentration as he felt sardines pouring out of his nose. Sirius, unable to concentrate enough on a complicated counter charm, had reverted to a third-year hex. He smirked charmingly at his friend from the ceiling and wiggled his fingers in a wave. Remus muttered the counter-spell and lowered Sirius to the floor, much to McGonagall's disappointment.

"Ms. Bones and Ms. Jasper, you're up." McGonagall said immediately as Sirius collected his wand and stumbled towards Remus.

"Good one, Rem!" he said, slinging his arm around Moony's shoulder. The two turned to watch the Ravenclaws duel. Sirius was pleasantly surprised to find both girls were quite good.

"What do you think? Could we talk to them?" he whispered to Remus.

"Bones, yes. We revised for Muggle Studies together last year and I know she's not into blood purity. I don't know Jasper." Remus whispered back. He was very aware of Sirius's arm still around him.

"Excellent." Sirius said as they watched the two girls duel.

"Wormtail." Remus whispered. Peter looked up at him, dragging his eyes off the fight in front of him.

"Yeah, Remus?"

"Tell Prongs that we need to talk to Edna Bones."

"Got it." Peter said with a nod as he turned to whisper to a still woozy looking James.

McGonagall called for Peter to duel with the remaining Ravenclaw girl and the other four Gryffindors were surprised to see him last until the enchanted hour glass sounded the end of class.

Remus had hardly been paying attention, which he felt guilty about, because he had been distracted by Sirius's arm resting on his shoulders.

Everyone dropped their essays on McGonagall's desk on their way out, only to be handed a slip of paper with their next assignment written in plain black ink:

_Please read Chapters 4 and 5 of your text and write two feet of parchment on any aspect of the history of Metamorphmagi. _

Remus groaned as he followed his classmates to Potions.

"Look, Lily. I'm dead beat today, can you give me all the easy jobs?" Remus pleaded as he flopped onto the stool in the Potions room.

"Yeah. I'm surprised you could beat Sirius today as tired as you are. Don't you two normally draw when you duel?"

"Usually, yeah." Remus said tiredly.

"You did well." Lily said.

"We aren't as flashy as two other duelers I know." Remus drawled at Lily.

"Potter's a great wizard." She said quietly.

"What?" Remus sputtered, nearly falling off the stool.

"Oh come on, Remus. I'm not an idiot, and its time to let go of my pride. I've been thinking a lot about what's going to happen after this year is over. The girls and I stay up most night's talking about everything. Did you know everyone in my dorm has family who's disappeared already? I want Potter on my side, I'm not going to ostracize him because he's got a giant ego and harassed me for a date for the last six years."

Remus didn't say anything and just nodded as he began chopping whatever it was Lily had set in front of him.

"Cut them just a bit finer, if you can." She said quickly and rushed over to the supply closet.

Remus somehow made it through the rest of the week's lessons although he was fairly certain it was only because he slept through Muggle Studies and depleted Lily's store of Pepper-Up potions.

Friday night he found himself being dragged to the top of the Astronomy Tower by an impatient Lily. He managed a quick wave over his shoulder at his confused friends before they disappeared out of the portrait hole.

"Spill!" Lily cried after kicking out some fifth years and taking over the platform for themselves.

"I wish you would have given me some time to grab my bag." Remus complained, pursing his lips.

Lily held out the tiny tin he sometimes kept cigarettes in.

"I accio'd it from you today during Herbology." she admitted sheepishly, handing over a lighter.

"I thought Sirius had stolen it." Remus said shaking his head.

"Oops?" Lily said laughing.

The two sat down on the edge of the platform and Remus lit his cigarette.

"Oh come on!" Lily said, practically bouncing next to him.

"I'm not sure what you want to know." He tried.

"Reeeemuuus." She begged.

"Seriously, Lily! I don't know what I'm supposed to be spilling here."

"Do you, Remus John Lupin, have a thing for Sirius Black?" She demanded, crossing her arms and looking up at him.

"Define 'thing'." Remus said, drawing air quotes with his hand.

Lily smacked him on the arm.

"If you're asking if I find him attractive, then yes, anyone with eyes finds him attractive."

Lily rolled her eyes as he tried to avoid coming out and saying it.

"Rem, honey," she began in a falsely sweet voice, "I'm asking if you're going to shag."

"Lily Evans!" he gasped, feigning shock and placing a hand on his chest. "I would never have imagined you to say such filthy things!" He smiled down at her, cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

"Seriously though, Lupin. Cut the shit."

"I don't know, Lily. I'm not exactly planning to shag any of my mates at this point."

"What about Fred?"

"No." Remus said blowing out smoke. "No, I'm actually going to break things off with him. He's been getting too clingy. Expects me to see him everyday and stuff."

"Well you two have been messing around for months." Lily pointed out.

"Yeah, well I'm not interested in it anymore, I guess." Remus said with a shrug.

"Because you have your eyes on Sirius."

"I do not 'have my eyes' on Sirius." Remus exclaimed.

"Whatever, _Moony_, I see you making eyes at him all the time. Especially when he stretches and shows off that little happy trail, you're practically drooling!"

"Who else is drooling, Evans?" Remus asked with a knowing glance.

"You said yourself anyone with eyes would see he's a good looking bloke." She said in defense, although she wasn't very embarrassed.

Remus had always known Lily had the slightest of things for Sirius. She claimed it was pure aesthetics and that the boy had great hair. Remus didn't believe it went any further than that since Lily was more indifferent to Sirius's presence than anything else.

They sat in silence until Remus had finished smoking and then looked out across the dark grounds of the castle.

"You'll tell me when it happens, though?" she poked the skinny wizard in the side.

"When _what_ happens?" Remus said confused.

"When you fuck Sirius Black!" she shouted. Her voice echoed around the platform and across the grounds and Remus found himself laughing loudly.

"Yeah, Evans. When I fuck Sirius Black I'll let you know. As long as you tell me when you have your way with James."

"As if!" Lily said, but Remus knew her heart wasn't in it the same way it had been last year. Not to mention her face was as bright as her hair.

"You can't hide it from me, Ms. Evans. I've got special werewolf sense, I can smell it on you." Remus tapped his nose for emphasis and Lily's face drained of all color.

"Oh my god, can you really?" she asked horrified.

Remus grinned, a grin that was as devilish and handsome as Sirius's, and Lily buried her face in her hands.

"When did he get to be so handsome?" She said flinging herself back desperately. Remus chuckled and patted her knee in comfort.

"Remus? Lily? Sirius and James said I had to ask if you were both decent!" Peter's voice carried up the twirling staircase of the tower.

Lily sat up sharply and looked in the direction of the door with panic on her face.

"Yeah, come on up!" Remus shouted back, smiling at a glowering Lily.

Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs appeared at the top of the stairs carrying goblets and bottles of what Sirius knew to be firewhiskey.

"Who else needs a drink?" Sirius asked, holding up one of the bottles.

Lily raised her hand first, shocking everyone except for Remus who had gotten quite smashed with Evans on many an occasion in the past.

"What're we drinking to?" she asked after everyone held a full goblet.

"The end of our first month of our last year." Peter suggested.

"It's a bit wordy," said Lily.

"The beginning of the end." Remus said, holding his goblet up.

"The beginning of the end!" Everyone echoed, clanking their goblets together, making eye contact with everyone around the circle for good luck before downing the cup, as was customary for Gryffindors to do when drinking the first glass of firewhiskey of the evening.

"Remus, what ever happened to that first year girl whose parents were murdered?" James asked abruptly, pouring everyone a fresh cup.

"Leave it, James. Let's just try to enjoy the night, yeah?" Lily said gently, holding her gaze with his.

Lily glanced over at Remus, mouth half open to ask him to tell them all a good story, but caught herself just in time. Sirius and Remus each had a cigarette between their lips, Sirius's was lit, but the wind on top of the tower was making it difficult for Remus and his matches that he had been using exclusively for the last week.

Lily watched, a half-smile on her face as Sirius cupped his hands around Remus's neck and pulled him forward a bit so the tips of the cigarettes were touching. The boys sat like that for a moment until Remus's caught. She quickly looked away as they leaned back from each other.

"Oi, Rem. Get on with a story, will ya?" Peter demanded, taking a swig.

Remus tapped his chin, contemplating as everyone sat around breathless.

"This, gentlemen, and lady, is a true tale. There were not many witnesses, and so you will find no one else who will willingly recount the events I am about to share with you, but let it be known that they are indeed true. The story begins in this very school, at the work table of a young red-headed witch, as she researched something quite ordinary in the library." Remus's eyes flicked to Lily's mortified face as he continued.

"The title of the book on her desk was, _Amorentia: The key to everlasting passion_. The target? The Gryffindor Quidditch Captain."

"Evans! That was you?" Sirius roared with laughter, cutting Remus off mid-sentence.

"Hush, Padfoot. I'm telling a story." Remus said quite seriously, winking at Lily.

Despite her overwhelming sense of embarrassment as Remus recounted exactly how she had attempted to make the hunky Quidditch Captain fall in love with her, Lily still noticed how Sirius sat with his leg pressed against Remus and that he occasionally would reach out to brush the hair out of his friend's eyes.

After one such incident, Lily looked around to see if anyone else had seen it. James caught her eye and glanced back at the other two, his eyebrows raised and the hint of a grin on his lips. Lily Evans shrugged and sipped out of her goblet. Poor Peter was passed out on the cold stone, bundled underneath James's black robe, and hadn't seen a damn thing.

**A/N: School is starting up again soon so I don't know how regular I'll be with my updates! And remember, reviews are lovely. **


	5. Chapter 4

**Year 7**

**1977**

**Early October**

Walking along the dimly lit corridor near the basements of the castle were two quiet students. The taller one had her robe slung over one arm, her wand grasped carelessly in the other. Her silver and blue tie was loosened, betraying how relaxed she was at that moment. As it was after-hours these two students were supposed to be searching for trouble makers, young couples out late, or eccentric bibliophiles who stowed away in the library after closing.

However, the two had only stumbled across the blasted poltergeist, Peeves, and startled one house-elf who was returning from the laundry rooms to the kitchen by foot (in place of apparation). This elf, Cherry, was young and still new at Hogwarts and took as many trips by foot as possible in order to explore this hallowed academy.

Upon bumping into the students she had peered over the large pile of neatly folded bed hangings (gold, Hufflepuff) and stammered, "Hello there, Master Remus! Would you like for Cherry to get you anything?"

"No, Cherry. That's not necessary. Perhaps later after our patrol." Remus said gently, Cherry had a habit of becoming very flustered if her services were refused. Remus assumed it was because of her tender age.

"Excellent idea, Master Remus! I will prepare you some hot chocolate and cakes!" Cherry scurried off, already deciding which of the werewolf's favorites she would make.

Remus shook his head and led the sixth year Ravenclaw up the steps to continue their patrol along the eastern corridor which led to the library. Despite being a year younger than he, Remus had found that Penelope Stebbins was a great patrol partner. At first conversation had been hesitant and awkward. The two had fallen into the traps of standard Hogwarts small talk; favorite Quidditch teams, favorite Professor, least favorite subject, best study spots, what haunted the Shrieking Shack, etc etc. It hadn't taken long for the two to discover their mutual love for Arithmancy. Despite her passion and clear intelligence for the subject, Remus had been able to clear up some of her confusions regarding the usage of a particular sequence of numbers used most often in the creating of new Transfiguration spells.

"Professor Beetleby should just let you teach the fifth sixth years, Remus. You know how tetchy he is with students! Can't stand to answer a single question and just tells us all to read out texts."

"I'd love to be a teacher one day," he began with a rueful smile, "but I don't think it will be possible."

"Why not? You're great at explaining things! Look how well you did just now and we didn't even have any notes or books."

Remus's heart stopped for a moment. He had always loved helping people understand things, sharing knowledge, and discovering information together. It was a huge part of why he never begrudged his friends any help with their homework. He wasn't going to delude himself into thinking any type of institution would allow a werewolf to teach young students, though, and had quickly given up that dream which had been born in third year after his first tutoring session.

"I guess because of the war. Something makes me feel like I have to be out there, fighting."

Penelope frowned at him.

"Teaching and training students is part of fighting, Remus. You and I wouldn't know what we do about magic without our teachers."

"It doesn't seem like enough, Penelope." Remus's initial elation at finding an excuse other than his lycanthropy quickly disappeared.

He had not wanted to begin this discussion with anyone that night. He had been keeping an eye on the first-year, Carrie, while Sirius nearly stalked James everywhere. Carrie put on a much better show of being happy than James did, or perhaps it was easier to replace that enormous loss when there was still so much left to discover at Hogwarts. James was jaded and frustrated. He felt trapped. Carrie was just coming in to her own and had a lot to learn.

"I know what you mean, but its still important." She said after a long pause. Her voice was quiet and when Remus looked over at her he noticed how large and wet her brown eyes were. Remus closed his own eyes in preparation for what he knew she was about to say:

"My older cousin had just been accepted to auror training before this year started. He was out with his other friends who had also gotten accepted. They were attacked leaving a small pub in London by a group of fifteen of those Death Eaters."

She took a shaky breath and slid her robe over her shoulders, for warmth or comfort Remus wasn't sure.

"They killed them all, four wizards and witches fresh out of school. They were barely eighteen. Then, at the memorial service, some more Death Eaters showed up. The didn't do anything, they just stood there. When Robbie's mom started crying as they lowered him into the ground, the Death Eaters laughed. My uncles and my mom are muggles, Remus. The magical side of my family all had their wands out, but everyone else was trying to keep a duel from starting. 'There has been enough death in this family' my mother said. I was holding my wand so tightly I thought it would snap. What could I do? I had just gotten my O.W.L.S in the mail and here I was thinking about murdering these people in front of me."

Remus put a comforting hand on her arm and didn't say anything, waiting for her to continue. She was struggling mightily to hold back her tears. Finally she looked up at the ceiling and continued speaking. Her voice was detached.

"They all just apparated away in the middle of my family going crazy. We thought they had left us alone, you know? So we all go back to my Aunt Emma's house but when we get there, it's been destroyed. There was a Dark Mark floating above it and two of the muggle neighbor girls were suspended above the ruins. They were alive, but they've been in St. Mungo's since July. The healers can't bring them out of their comas."

Remus was flabbergasted. He stared at Penelope and mentally went through the list of every pureblood family Sirius had ever talked about. Stebbins did not call up anything special in his mind.

"Why did they...I mean, why would they do that?" Remus questioned, feeling his stomach churn.

He nearly jumped when he heard Penelope's shrill laugh.

"Oh Remus. You think these people only go after witches and wizards who are blood traitors or mudbloods? They're going after everyone. It doesn't matter if you keep your head down and try to ride it out. Unless you've got a Dark Mark on your arm, they'll kill you. First though, they'll torture you just for fun."

Remus had nothing to say in response to that, and the two finished the rest of their patrol in silence.

At the top of the steps just outside the Entrance Hall, Remus and Penelope met up with the other two prefects on patrol. Waiting for them were Fred and the seventh year Hufflepuff, Oscar Gifford.

"Hey, Penelope. I'll walk you to your common room." Oscar said immediately upon their arrival.

Remus tried to surpress a sigh of frustration. When the two were out of sight he turned to Fred with a raised eyebrow.

"Hello there, Mr. Lupin. Fancy walking me back to my common room?" Fred asked him with a wink.

And without waiting for Remus to respond he pressed his lips sweetly against the older wizard's.

Remus knew that he should have pushed him off and explained calmly that this wasn't a good idea and that it shouldn't happen anymore. The last half hour of patrol had made him feel so defeated, so lonely, so in need of comfort, however, that Remus found himself not only allowing Fred's lips to gently kiss his own, but also shoving the shorter boy into the empty room behind them.

The two didn't waste much time; Fred because he wanted Remus so badly he nearly vanished all their clothes, and Remus because if he paused even for a moment he knew he'd be overwhelmed by regret and the fear he was currently trying to shove away.

He slid his hand down to the button on Fred's trousers and grabbed the boy's bare hips harshly when he heard them hit the floor at their feet. Shoes were quickly kicked off as Fred's lips trailed down Remus's jaw (prickly with the lightest hint of a beard) until he was nipping roughly at Remus's neck. Remus didn't care that there might be marks the next day as his hands were busy pushing Fred's underwear down. Fred groaned into Remus's shoulder as the taller wizard's hand found him, hard and waiting.

"Fuck me, Remus." He said with another groan as Remus flicked his thumb over the tip. Remus pushed him towards the desk at the front of the classroom. He pulled off his own clothes, shedding his shirt and pants until he was standing in just his own tented boxers and socks.

Fred's eyes were dark and hooded. He turned and leaned his elbows on the desk, looking over his shoulder at Remus with a dirty smile on his face. Remus watched him for a moment, taking in the light muscles of the boys back, the curve of his ass, his thin legs.

He leaned down and fished his wand out of the puddle of clothes on the ground. Remus nearly growled when he heard how Fred responded to the charms he quickly cast. The long, low moan, was enough to make his body tense and his hips push forward against the air. He walked up to the boy, in his head he imagined it as a slow prowl, but in reality he knew it was nothing more than a gangly walk.

Remus buried his anxieties about the world around them as deep in Fred as he could. And when they were finished, Fred's nearly silent admission of "I love you" while he watched the werewolf get dressed sent Remus fleeing. He paused at the door, looking at the still naked sixth year and blurted out, "We can't do this anymore. It's over."

Remus nearly sprinted back to his dorm. The Fat Lady glared at his poor manners but when Remus entered the common room he forced himself to slow his walking and breath deeply before mounting the stairs. He was surprised to be greeted with the scent of fresh cakes and hot chocolate when he opened the door. Peter and James were sat on the floor around a large pile of fluffy desserts, each sipping giant mugs of hot chocolate.

"Oh, Moony! They brought this stuff for you, but you weren't here, so we just started eating." Peter said before taking a gulp of the steaming chocolate.

"Right." he said quietly. He felt nauseous for what had just happened.

Casual sex had never been Remus Lupin's style, not when he was terrified of someone commenting on his scars, or the multitude of other problems that could arise.

"What's up, mate?" James asked him suddenly. "You look a bit green."

"I can't talk about it." Remus said weakly, sitting down on his bed.

"Why the hell not?" James asked.

"I need Lily," Remus said.

"Well fat luck, mate. It's after hours and she's probably up in her room."

"Where's the map? She might be in the library." Remus jumped up, looking at the other two.

"Sirius took it. He's been hoarding it all night, glaring at it for hours and about twenty minutes ago he just jumped up and left." Peter was eyeing another cake, this one covered in blueberries, as he spoke.

"He was grumbling about that Hufflepuff prefect before he left." James added. Remus narrowed his eyes at the animagus. James was trying very hard to use his 'I'm not interested or aware of what's happening voice'. That meant he clearly suspected something was going on and was doing his best to wiggle information out of Remus. James blinked back at him slowly.

"Anything going on there you need to talk about?" James asked after a moment. "You know, like why Sirius kept muttering 'They've been in there for twenty minutes already!' and jabbing his wand at your dot on the map."

Peter looked up as if he suddenly understood what was happening.

"Wait! You're with that Fred bloke!"

Remus narrowed his eyes at James. Peter was, and always would be, an awful actor and it was painfully obvious in this moment that James had fed him that bit of information.

"I'm going back downstairs." Remus told them. Before he left though, he gathered the third mug of hot chocolate and several delicious looking custard filled cakes.

Remus was left alone with his guilt and sweets for another half hour. James disrupted his thoughts of self-loathing by plopping down onto the sofa next to him, in front of the dying embers. There was an overly-studious fifth year in the other corner of the room asleep on piles of notes, but neither seventh year felt the need to wake him.

"I'm sorry I stuck Pete on you like that, mate." James said immediately. He was slouched down low on the sofa, his glasses were slipping down his nose and James had to continuously push them back up. "I just wish you would be more open about it."

"Open about what?" Remus asked tightly.

"Your relationships." James said with a shrug, his hands now resting behind his head. "You act like none of us know or care. We were all worried about that stunt you pulled with Liam last year. But you didn't say anything and eventually we figured we could let you be."

Remus's mouth was dry and he felt his cheeks flush bright red.

"I don't need to be babysat, James." he said faintly.

"No one's trying to babysit you, Moony. We tell you about our shit, you tell us about yours. We're one big happy family. We're just trying to keep you sane."

"Fighting a losing battle on that one." Remus admitted with a quiet chuckle.

"Maybe."

"He said he loved me and I sprinted from the room. My trousers weren't even done up all the way."

"Well, that's very, Sirius-like of you." James said after a pause.

"I don't want him to like me." Remus pleaded.

"Why not?"

"Because it wasn't like that. It wasn't supposed to become anything."

"Moony, you can't stop other people from liking you. You're a handsome bloke, when you wipe the ink stains off your face and don't smell like the library." James looked Remus in the eye while he spoke, his own eyes twinkling happily.

"Potter, are you coming on to me? Because if so, you're doing a shit job."

James laughed loudly and Remus smiled at the sound. He had missed a carefree James more than anything.

"I'll leave that to Sirius." James said suddenly. Remus froze, not daring to breath and too afraid to look at his friend.

"Why do you say that, Prongs?"

"It's fairly obvious, Remus. Evans came up to me last night and asked about it."

"She did what?" Remus demanded, nearly seething. His embarrassment was momentarily forgotten in his rage.

"I told her I'd ask Sirius about it." He said with another shrug.

"I don't understand what this 'it' is?" Remus said desperately.

But James ignored him and walked back up the stairs.

"I'm off to bed, Moony. We've got Arithmancy in the morning. You'd best come up too."

Peter really loved Thursday. It was his favorite day because it meant he was finished with Transfiguration for the week _and_ because he only had two classes; Care of Magical Creatures and Charms. The rest of the day was spent doing whatever Peter felt like doing. Mostly, that included hanging around whichever green house was empty at the time and perusing the wonderful plants Professor Zoticus was cultivating. He also liked to spend time with Hagrid, the gigantic Game Keeper that had a soft spot for dangerous animals (Peter was currently helping him re-locate a pricke of knarles from his garden).

This Thursday, however, he would not be paying any visits to Professor Zoticus or Hagrid.

Peter kicked at the dust bunnies on the ground and a few squealed and rolled out of his way. He was waiting behind the statue of the One-Eyed-Hag where James had said he would meet him. Peter glanced at his watch, seventeen seconds. His stomach grumbled loudly and he pulled his cloak around him as he felt a draft come down the passage. James had arrived then.

"Alright, Pete?" James asked casually enough, but in the light of his _lumos_ charm Peter could see that James wasn't smiling and he didn't look even slightly happy.

"What's this about, Prongs?" Peter asked as the two fell into step together, their school shoes slapping rhythmically on the old stone.

"Do you remember that bloke we were telling you about last week, on the way back from the Shack?"

"Yeah. Kingsley, the auror."

"We're going to meet him."

Peter didn't say anything more and scratched his head anxiously. He cast his mind back to the dawn after last month's full moon. He and Sirius were supporting a wobbly James on the way back to the castle. They normally didn't speak much after Remus had transformed back seeing as they were always tired. Peter had grown to enjoy those brief moments walking in the grey pre-dawn light with his friends with disillusionment charms cast even while under the cloak. Even though Remus was never physically with them in these moments, it was safe to say that all three were thinking of him, and Peter could feel his soothing presence in the back of his mind as he trudged along, sometimes leading, sometimes following the others.

This dawn though, Sirius had broken the traditional silence.

"Look, Peter, we need to talk to you. It's really important and you have to swear not to tell anyone."

"Of course." Peter said, assuming that this was about a prank. It would be the first one of that year, he had smiled at the idea of getting back into the game.

"This goes beyond Marauder business, Pete. It's bigger than us." James puffed out with a wince on his face. Perhaps they should have healed the large cut on his leg before going to the castle.

Peter hadn't said anything and just waited expectantly.

"After the funeral, this auror came and spoke to us…" And with that, Peter had learned all that Sirius and James knew about the mysterious Order of the Phoenix. When Sirius started rattling off names of students that suspected to be in league with the Death Eaters, Peter had felt himself shake. _Death Eaters_? _Inside Hogwarts?_ He was scared. He had read the papers, much like Lily, and he had watched his mother keep careful count of each death this summer. He wanted no part in this war, he did not want to become another tally-mark on his mother's cabinet.

"We're afraid too." James had comforted once the boys had reached the dorm. "But we can't let them get away with this."

Peter had nodded then, out of exhaustion and agreement. He had dropped straight to bed as Sirius began to heal James's leg and barely stirred as the other two kept discussing the Order.

"Alright, hold still we'll need to do disguises. I told Kingsley I'd bring you along today. You'll need to wear this so he recognizes us." James pulled out a ghastly bowler hat from under his robes.

"James, I'm not sure this is a good idea."

"Come on, Wormtail. It's just one meeting." James screwed his eyes together and muttered a few spells. Wormtail's hair became a nice oily black color, and James conjured some thick glasses for him.

"I'm not very good at disguising spells yet, we'll have to just transfigure your clothes and try not to make eye contact with anyone." James pulled out the Invisibility cloak and threw it around his own shoulders.

"What should I wear?" Peter asked, worry and desperation flooding his voice. James ignored it.

"How about a dark green vest. Maybe with little stars on it?" Peter looked at him in exasperation. Who did James think Wormtail was, Sirius? He managed to turn his school jumper into a nice, thick green vest, but the white shirt underneath looked a bit bizarre. He picked at his shirtsleeve and stuck his tongue out slightly as he thought.

"Come on, Peter. We've got to go. It's almost time." James glanced down at his watch, then at his friend. He frowned and quickly transfigured the Hogwarts cloak into a heavy brown woolen thing. He turned, pulling the cloak over his head so that all Peter could see of him were his feet when he walked.

"Prongs!" he hissed as the eased into Honeydukes Cellar. "Your feet."

James looked down and smiled brightly at Peter, forgetting the boy couldn't see his face. He hurriedly cast the charm.

Kingsley Shacklebolt was sipping his drink and occasionally munching on a chip in the corner of the Hog's Head. Aberforth hadn't been overly pleased to see the tall wizard waltz into his establishment with the greasy chips, but knew his business in the village and couldn't bring himself to kick the auror out. The little bell jingled as the door opened and a short man with black hair and an atrocious hat stepped in, followed by a harsh gust of autumn wind.

"Close the bloody door!" Aberforth growled and he heard Kingsley snort into his filthy glass.

"Er, right." the man squeaked. Aberforth raised his eyebrows and glanced at Kingsley.

There was another shady group of wizards in the corner talking in hushed voices around a tattered notebook. Aberforth had noticed the exchange of several bags of coin already. They didn't seem to notice the newcomer as he went straight to the booth where the auror was sitting.

"Well what're ya' drinkin?" Aberforth shouted. Merlin's beard these spies got worse and worse every day. Can't even handle meeting in a pub.

The man in the hat was facing away from Aberforth and the younger Dumbledore saw his back tense.

"I'll have what my friend's drinking." he said, and all of his previous squeaky nerves seemed to have disappeared. Aberforth thought this was a definite improvement. When he walked over to the booth with another mug of ale, he heard the two men discussing the latest quidditch results. Kingsley was going on about the Holyhead Harpies but the man in the hat was laughing and slapping his hand on the table. At least they aren't talking about the weather, Aberforth conceded.

"Mufflato." James whispered as the bartender returned to his station. Kingsley's eyes flicked in his direction but he didn't make any other movements that gave away James's presence.

"Drink up, Peter." James said quietly. He could see his friend's hands were still shaking. Peter took an unnecessarily large gulp.

"What's the news, Shaklebolt?" James asked after a lull in the quidditch debate.

"You know I can't share official business with you, Rumpert."

Peter almost looked behind him before he realized that 'Rumpert' was his new code-name.

"Any unofficial news you can pass along?" Peter asked breathlessly, hoping he was doing this right.

"I'll gladly share some news if you do me a favor, Rumpert."

"What is it?" James breathed and Peter could feel his friend's excitement in the air around them.

"I've a note that needs to be delivered and I'm afraid my owl's gotten ill and I hate to pay for one."

"Okay." Peter said, cutting James off in the hope of proving to both men here that even though he was terrified, he wasn't completely useless.

"Excellent." Kingsley said and sat back. James thought he might burst from anticipation as the two watched the auror sip his ale.

"The news?" James finally demanded in a hot whisper.

"Chip?" Kingsley offered. Peter took a handful and chewed slowly. His stomach grumbled and he hoped he could stop in the kitchens when they got back to school.

"We've added new members. I've also reason to suspect the Minister is compromised." As he spoke he slid a book across the table to Peter, who grabbed hold of it tenderly without looking at the cover.

The boys prodded Kingsley for more details about the minister, but after the third refusal they gave up. The older wizard slid a folded piece of parchment across the table and smiled at Peter. James removed the charm just in time for the pub to hear Kingsley say loudly,

"Thanks for your cooperation, Rumpert. I'm glad you see why its best to shut things down early. I'd hate to drag you to Azkaban!"

Peter was treated to a heavy clap on the shoulder and a wolfish grin from the auror as he strode away. On his way out the door he flipped a coin to Aberforth, who began whistling merrily upon receiving payment.

Peter grabbed hold of the book and letter tenderly and the two exited the place as quickly as possible. He found Aberforth's whistling unnerving.

Sirius and Remus were sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table, looking anxiously at the doors to the Great Hall. Remus could feel Sirius's left leg bouncing against his own.

"How long does it take to piss?" Sirius asked, looking from the doorway to Remus.

"Should we go find him?"

"Let's go get the map. And where the fuck is Peter?"

When Sirius and Remus entered their dorm room, Sirius nearly flew to Prong's bed and hauled the mattress onto the floor.

"It's not here." he said frantically and let the bedding fall back into place.

Remus stood in the center of the room, tapping his finger on his chin as he spun in a circle, looking around. He strode to the pile of textbooks James had left piled up by the bathroom door last week and starting flipping through them all.

"Got it." he said quietly with a slow smile towards Padfoot. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." He murmured, pointing his wand at the creased parchment.

Sirius watched him as he unfolded it and kneeled down beside him to study the corridors and classrooms with the werewolf.

"Can you see him?" Remus asked after three minutes of carefully combing the map.

"No. Have you found Peter?"

"Not yet. Wait! Look, third floor."

The names 'Peter Pettigrew' and 'James Potter' had suddenly appeared on the map.

"The secret tunnel." Sirius said, shaking his head. Remus watched his friend's long locks fly back and forth.

"Let's go." Sirius said, standing up.

He held his hand out to Remus who quickly said, "Mischief managed," and folded the map.

"We have a whole free period before Charms." Remus muttered. "Why don't we wait for them here that way they can't avoid answering anything because we're around other students?"

"Good idea, Moony." Sirius said with a brilliant smile. Remus dropped the map on James's bed and flopped down face first on his own. He'd spent all night thinking about the look on Fred's face when he had dashed from the room. His guilt hadn't let him get much sleep.

"Have you started the Herbology assignment?" Sirius asked him, studying his friend's form.

"Mhmm." Remus mumbled into his pillow. "You?"

"I'm about halfway through." Sirius lied. He was sitting on his own bed, laying on his stomach so he could continue to observe Remus.

"Liar." Remus snorted, kicking off his shoes and sinking deeper into his blankets.

"Moony I can't believe you're about to sleep away a free period!" Sirius said after there were a few quiet moments.

Remus turned his head and looked at his friend through one squinting amber eye.

"I was up patrolling last night." he reminded Sirius. He didn't seem to mind the way Sirius was staring as he sat up and pulled his jumper over his head.

"Who did Evans stick you with this time?" Sirius was mesmerized as Moony unbuttoned the first three buttons of his white shirt, allowing the sunlight to glint off an old scar on his collarbone.

"Ravenclaw, Penelope. She's really cool." Remus murmured.

"Is that why you were so late?" he drawled.

"I don't know what you mean." Remus said defensively, still sitting, but avoiding Sirius's eyes. He hadn't been late because of Penelope but he couldn't bring himself to talk about Fred again.

He had never spoken to any of the Marauders about his flings with other wizards before last night's late conversation with James. In fact, the only time he had ever kissed and told about it was in fifth year during a game of truth or dare when Peter had demanded to know the last person he had snogged. At that time the answer had been the former Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, who had given Remus a thorough celebratory snog after she had lead the team to victory against Slytherin.

"You weren't back when I left." Sirius said, hurling a pillow at him. Remus looked at him curiously, was Sirius going to admit to the weird behavior James and Peter had told him about last night?

"Got a bit distracted." Remus said, folding his hands and glancing towards Sirius. When he saw his friend's notorious smirk he felt his eyes go straight to the ceiling above his bed in what he felt was an innocent expression.

"And?" Sirius said curiously.

"And what?" Remus snapped, feeling uncomfortably warm out of embarrassment. It was one thing for him to list boys he thought were cute with Lily, and it was another to tell his best mate about what he and Fred had gotten up to in an abandoned classroom outside the Hufflepuff common room.

"Don't get so huffy, Rem. I'm just curious."

Remus didn't say anything at first and kept his eyes firmly away from Sirius.

"Nothing happened between Penelope and I." he said honestly.

"Who was it then? Come on, Moony...you can tell me! Pleeeease?"

Remus lasted a full fifteen seconds against Sirius's pleading puppy dog eyes.

"Fred."

"I thought you said it wasn't serious with him?"

"Just because it wasn't serious, Sirius," Remus swallowed heavily and closed his eyes before trying again. "Just because it wasn't serious that doesn't mean I didn't spend time with him."

"You're sleeping with him and it's not serious?"

"I never said I slept with him. You're just jumping to conclusions." Remus said defensively, although he couldn't figure out why he felt the need to lie to Sirius about that.

"I'm not stupid, Remus. I do know you're sleeping together."

"Well, I'm not anymore because he seemed just as confused by the concept of 'not serious' as you are right now." Remus crossed his arms and glared at Sirius.

"So you ended it?" Sirius asked, clearly feeling relieved.

Remus nodded stiffly.

"You slept with him in an old classroom, and then broke up with him?" Sirius hooted with laughter and slapped his leg. Remus looked sheepish.

"You bastard, probably broke the poor kid's heart." Sirius was still giggling with glee.

"It's not funny, Sirius. I feel awful." Remus flopped back on his bed. Sirius clambered off his own bed and dove next to Remus.

"Tell me, Rem," he began conversationally as he looked down at his shorter friend, arm bent at the elbow as he lay on his side. "Did he say 'I love you'?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders and bit his lip. He felt like shit, frankly, and Sirius's teasing wasn't helping.

"Has he said it before?" Sirius asked, cocking his head to one side. Remus didn't answer him and breathed out heavily. "Hello in there," Sirius said, slapping his friend's forehead, "I'm speaking to you, Mr. Werewolf!"

"Yes! Yes, okay. He's said it before and he said it again last night."

"Moons, I'm positively appalled that you'd lead him on like that!" Sirius's tone was joking but Remus knew that he was shocked.

"I can't believe I did it." Remus admitted, looking up briefly at Sirius and biting his lip. Sirius was staring at Remus's face as he spoke, but when he saw his friend's teeth pull his bottom lip and work it nervously, he found he couldn't take his eyes off Remus's mouth. Remus didn't seem to notice, so distraught was he by his new found wizard-izing ways.

"Why did you do it?" Sirius asked after he cleared his throat and dragged his eyes away from Remus's lovely mouth.

"I-," Remus said quietly, his cheeks turning as scarlet as his bed hangings. He looked a bit helpless and Sirius settled down to watch his friend squirm. There was almost nothing as amusing as an awkward Remus. "I hadn't planned on it." He started again, slowly. "But then things got out of hand and I'm sure you can figure out the details."

"Remus." Sirius said warningly.

"I was feeling like shit, Siri. Penelope was telling me what happened to her family this summer and then I was thinking about James's dad, and that little first year. And Fred was there and he was being comforting."

Sirius arched his eyebrow quite deliberately. He believed his friend, but couldn't resist annoying him at this point.

Remus sat up and turned away so he didn't have to look at Sirius. "He kissed me in the hall and then there was mutual dragging into a deserted classroom." Remus was too annoyed to feel guilty about fibbing the last bit.

Sirius found himself to be at a loss for words as he contemplated this image. He had been doing that a lot, ever since the train ride. Pictures of Remus and this shady Fred character would pop into his mind when he was least expecting it. Sirius had certainly always thought Remus to be a decent looking wizard, and he definitely appreciated the sight of his friend when he caught him stepping out of the shower (did that make him a pervert, he wondered briefly), but he had always been able to control his _curiosities _before now. He scowled at the idea of Fred helping Remus out of his clothes and realized he didn't really want any more details of the encounter.

The door burst open as James and Peter revealed themselves. There was an awkward silence in the dorm and Sirius sat up quickly, glaring at each of them.

"Out with it, then. Where the fuck have you two been?"

James glanced at Remus who met his gaze and crossed his arms expectantly.

"Um, actually," he backpedaled, grabbing the collar of Peter's robes, "I just remembered I have a meeting with Lily."

"Oi!" Sirius cried after the two as they disappeared down the staircase. "Prongs!"

"I'm going to head to charms." Remus said, equally abrupt as the other two Marauders.

"We've still got, like half an hour, mate." Sirius said as his eyebrows came together.

"Yeah, I want to re-read that chapter for today." Remus shrugged, fixing his school clothes.

"Remus, there are much better ways to spend thirty minutes then re-reading a textbook." Sirius warned his friend.

"I can't think of any at the moment." Remus challenged.

"I'm sure if Fred were here you could." Sirius asserted without pause or thought.

There was complete silence in the room and Remus froze with his jumper halfway over his head. Sirius didn't breathe and he found himself confounded by his own words. Remus looked at him once before he fled the room, pulling his sweater down with one hand and scooping his school bag up with the other.

"What. The. Fuck. Black." Sirius muttered to himself after Remus had shut the door.

Remus searched the common room, hoping that Lily wasn't spending her free period with Slughorn in the dungeons. He spotted her curled in his usual chair, Charms book open to today's chapter. He lunged over and grabbed her schoolbag in his own hand, whispering frantically, "We need to talk!"

"Alright, Remus." She said, marking her page and looking up at him. "Let's walk to class."

"Lily I don't know what the hell he's playing at. He just keep saying these things and I try not to make a big deal out of it...And where were you last night? And at lunch? I've been trying to talk to you!" Remus said, launching quite nicely into the middle of his problem without explaining anything.

"What are you on about, Remus?" Lily was pulling her hair back into a braid. The two ducked into a quiet alcove.

"Sirius." he said quickly, and Lily noticed there was a sad tone of defeat there.

"What's he done?" She demanded harshly.

"He just...He keeps saying weird things and touching me randomly, not like he used to, and he keeps asking about bloody Fred Wintringham. It's driving me mad. One minute I feel like he's putting out these vibes and the next minute he's as cold as, I don't know, something frozen."

"Something frozen?" Lily snorted.

"The giant squid in winter?"

"Right, come on, I want to get a seat up front today." Lily said glancing at her watch and pulling Remus by the elbow.

The two were halfway to Charms and the hallways were becoming more crowded, Remus turned to Lily and looked at her with large confused puppy eyes.

"Lils, you've said it too. There's something happening there, but it's driving me mad."

"What's driving you mad, Moony?" came a voice in front of them. Lily and Remus looked up to see James standing next to Peter, watching them with great interest.

"You and Peter disappearing all afternoon." Remus reprimanded.

"Yeah, Potter. He's been dragging me around the castle looking everywhere for you two." Lily crossed her arms and glared first at James, then Peter.

"Alright, everyone, into the classroom now! We've got quite a bit to cover today." Their charms professor, an unfortunate looking middle-aged wizard ushered them all into class.

Remus dashed to sit next to Lily, ignoring Sirius when he came in late. When the professor's back was turned he heard James and Sirius whispering furiously behind them.

A few moments later a folded bird floated down to Remus and Lily's desk. Remus went to reach for it, assuming it was a note from James, but Lily put her hand over the parchment first.

"It's for me." she whispered quickly. She showed him the large curving 'L' that James had written on the corner.

Lily quickly read the note and then flattened it out on the desk so that Remus could also read it.

_Lils,_

_Sirius is faking innocence and pretending he doesn't know what I'm on about. But he's been staring at the back of our Remus's head for the whole period. Drastic measures may have become necessary._

_-J_

Remus snatched the parchment and crossed out everything James had written. Underneath it he scribbled,

_Prongs,_

_Where were you?_

_-R_

Lily ignored him as he folded the paper once more and sent it floating two rows back to where James and Sirius sat.

After waiting ten minutes for James to send the note back, Remus turned around to glare at his friends. James pretended not to notice him and 'took notes' periodically ducking his head and glaring intensely at his parchment (upon which he had written approximately five sentences). Sirius gave Remus a tentative smile, which the werewolf returned. If James wasn't going to crack then Remus would just have to corner Pete after class.

Peter, however, had other plans for his evening which did not include being gently interrogated by his lovely friend, Remus Lupin. He himself had spent the double Charms period also passing notes, with his mildly attractive Hufflepuff girlfriend whose name is rather unfortunate, but her personality certainly makes up for it.

Berthilde and Peter were quietly giggling in the back corner and staring gooily into each others eyes. Sirius couldn't bring himself to turn around. He could hear the two of them and he knew the sight would be enough to make him dry-heave. Out of disgust, of course, not jealousy.

The happy couple's kitchen-raid planning was interrupted by a note from Remus.

_Peter,_

_Meet 20 minutes after class in the courtyard under the clock. Business as usual. _

_-R_

Peter hid the note from Berthilde (who wasn't looking anyway, she was busy running her fingers through Peter's fluffy blonde hair) and sighed heavily. Cream puff pastries would have to wait until after Marauder business.

"Where are the other's?" Peter asked when he found Remus seated under a dingy archway.

"Sit down, Peter." Remus said comfortably.

"They're always late." Peter said with a dramatic huff as he settled himself on the cold stone. He frowned in concentration as he cast a mild warming charm on the slabs underneath himself and Remus.

"Thanks, Pete." Remus said brightly. He remembered helping Peter with that charm in fifth year. It had caused the other wizard quite a bit of trouble.

The two sat in silence and studied their fellow students around the courtyard.

"I've got a question for you, Peter. Well, it's more of a mystery and I think you'll be able to help me figure it out."

"Doubt it, but go ahead." Peter said glumly. He was missing Berthilde and if James and Sirius were any more late he wouldn't have time to visit the kitchens before dinner.

"Well, two of my best mates weren't at lunch today. And I think they lied to me about it."

Peter looked at the moss-covered stone under his trainers made a bizarre "hmph" noise that Remus had come to associate with moments of great mental strain.

"Peter, I just want to make sure James is okay. You know how he's been acting lately and I'm worried about him."

"James was fine." Peter said swiftly, hoping if he kept his answers vague he could keep Remus tiptoeing around it until the other Marauders showed up and saved him.

"So he wasn't upset or anything?"

"No, he seemed quite pleased, actually." Peter said, stuffing his hands in his robe pockets.

"Do you know what made him so happy?" Remus prodded.

"You'll have to ask him, I guess. I was just along for the ride."

"You're observant, Wormtail. I'm sure you have some idea as to what he was so pleased about."

Peter glanced at his watch, then at his friend who was smiling gently.

"There's no Marauder business, is there?" he asked Remus.

"Finding out where you and James went _is_ Marauder business." Remus said challengingly.

"I don't think I'm supposed to say, Remus." Peter said standing up. Remus jumped up quickly and followed the shorter boy as he walked across the courtyard.

"Peter, when have we ever kept secrets from each other? Just mine, and look how much better it is now. Things are getting too dangerous, Pete. I think we all need to know what's going on with James."

Peter stopped and turned when Remus grabbed his shoulder. He sucked in his cheeks and looked at the sky critically.

"I don't want you to be mad at me," he said finally.

"I won't be mad at you, Peter." Remus could feel his pulse quicken and his grip tightened on Peter's shoulder. What was going on here that made Peter think he would be mad?

"He took me to meet an auror."

"That's it? You guys snuck out to meet an auror?" Remus felt slightly disappointed. "Was it just about training?"

"Well, no. James was asking him for 'news' and stuff. And Kingsley gave us this book and some letter we're supposed to deliver to someone. We had to disguise ourselves and he called me _Rumpert_."

"Peter. Please, please, please tell me James is not already involving himself in the Order."

"I think he's been involved, mate." Peter said softly.

"Petey! Oh Petey, love!" Berthilde made her timely entrance just as Wormtail really was beginning to get desperate for those custard cakes.

"Look, I've got to go, Remus. Maybe you should talk to James? I don't know anything else. Here's the letter we're supposed to deliver, give it to him for me, will you?"

"Yeah, thanks, Peter. Have fun with Berthilde."

"Thanks, mate." Peter said with a large smile. Then he was trotting off to kiss his girlfriend and drag her to the kitchens.

Remus stuffed the parchment in his school bag and hurried to meet Lily in the library.

Sirius had the Marauder's Map tucked discreetly into Remus's Arithmancy textbook (he had misplaced his own last week) and was carefully making his way down the fifth floor staircase in his search for Remus.

"There you are, Moony." Sirius whispered quietly to himself.

"Black, I think you're losing your mind." A snippy voice said from behind him. "Remus is not inside of a textbook."

"Shows what you know, Evans." Sirius said, slamming the book shut.

"If you're looking for Remus he's going to the library now. We are going to work on that supplemental essay for Herbology." Lily threw over her shoulder as she bounded down the steps.

"Excellent. I need to finish my essay and don't have my book with me." Sirius cried, struggling to catch up to Lily.

"You have to be quiet if you want to sit with us." Lily informed him as she halted in front of the thick library doors.

"Yes, yes, Evans. I'm aware of how nerdy you two are and I genuinely have to finish my essay."

"Fine."

Sirius scanned all the work tables for his friend and was disappointed when he realized he wasn't there.

"Sit down, Black." Lily whispered when they reached one of the larger circular tables in a corner under the window. It was in fact, one of the best work stations in the library and Sirius was amazed no scrawny first year had snagged it yet.

"Where's Remus?" Sirius asked as he threw his bag down on the chair.

"He'll be here soon, I guess. This is where we always sit." Lily already had her textbook, color-coded notes, and fresh parchment on the desk. She was digging for a fresh ink well when Remus suddenly appeared behind him.

"Hey, Pads. Lily, I spoke with Peter. Did you talk to James?" Remus set his own bag down on the floor and moved Sirius's so he could sit down in his favorite spot.

"Hey! I was sitting there!" Sirius cried, earning glares from every student in the library (even those who were rummaging for books in the stacks poked their heads out from between the shelves to fix Sirius with the evil eye).

"Sirius, this is my seat. When you've spent as much time here as I have, then you can claim ownership. Until then, pull up another chair and hush." As Remus was quietly reprimanding Sirius he placed an unmarked envelope on the desk between himself and Lily. Sirius huffed loudly (more glares) and dragged another chair over to sit between Remus and Lily.

"Peter said that he gave the two of them this letter to deliver." Remus was whispering so quietly that Lily had leaned all the way across the table and tilted her head down so that her ear was as close as possible to Remus's mouth.

"I tried to ask James, but he was really vague. Got a bit rude about it too." Lily said, flipping the envelope over.

"The thing is, it's not marked. I'm not sure how he expected them to deliver it." Remus said, pulling out his notes for Herbology.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked the two of them.

"We're trying to find out where James and Peter went at lunch. And Peter just gave me this letter..."

"They went to meet Kingsley." Sirius said quickly, looking between the two of them.

"Yes, I know that _now_." Remus announced while flipping to the correct chapter in his book.

"Does this mean James is working for them already?" Lily asked. Sirius thought she sounded a bit jealous.

"I don't know." Remus said just as Sirius cut in with, "No, no, no."

The two looked at Sirius and waited for him to explain.

"Well, its not official. Mrs. Potter and Dumbledore would both kill James if he was doing anything more than running messages."

"But connecting himself with them is still dangerous!" Lily practically squeaked.

"Evans, love, living is dangerous right now." Sirius said cheekily.

"True." Remus said with a nod. "But why didn't he tell us?"

"He's just following instructions." Sirius shrugged. "I haven't been able to go with him yet. Apparently just Peter."

"Well who's this letter going to?" Lily demanded, waving the parchment in front of Sirius's face.

"Same person as always, I'd assume." Sirius said shrugging.

"And who's that?" Remus asked. Sirius could tell his friend was trying very hard to hide his excitement.

"Dumbledore of course."

"Dumbledore's the most powerful wizard of our time. He doesn't need hand-written letters delivered by James Potter." Lily scoffed.

"There are some things you can't send by owl post anymore, some people he can't be seen talking to, places he can't be seen in...I think these letters are maps or reports or lists." Sirius grabbed the heavy paper from Lily's hand and turned it over and over in his long fingers.

"Sirius is right, Lils." Remus said gently. His excitement was already gone. His head was buried in his notes (not as neat as Lily's).

"Well this was a disappointing mystery." Lily said with a heavy sigh.

"Why don't you bring it to Dumbledore, then?" Sirius asked her.

"What?"

"You should bring it to him. Tell James you two have to meet Dumbledore for Head business, then instead just deliver the letter while James is in the room. Then maybe you'll get to be a part of it too."

"Wouldn't James get mad?" she asked.

"Probably not." Remus said as he ran the top of his quill along his chin. "If you two are going to keep talking can you move? I want to finish this essay tonight."

Lily stowed the letter in her bag and turned to her own work.

"Moony can I borrow your book?" Sirius asked with a sweet smile.

"There are extras on the shelves, Sirius."

"Please, Rem?"

"I'm using my book, Sirius. Go look for your own."

"You can be so cruel." Sirius said, shoving back from the table.

"I'm not being cruel." Remus said with a smirk.

"What's this stupid book even called?" Sirius snatched Remus's book off the table and read the title aloud:

_"An Intense Study of Temperamental Magical Plants: Fungi, Flowers, Shrubbery, etc."_

As soon as Sirius wandered to the librarian to ask for help finding the book, Lily looked up.

"Well?" she asked coyly.

"What, Lily?"

"You were freaking out earlier about him and now you're being creepily calm." She said with a sharp kick to his shin under the table.

"Because I realized we're just friends." Remus said grumpily, rubbing his sore leg.

"Wow." She responded, shaking her head. "You are so full of shit."

"Except that I'm not." Remus said.

Sirius returned at that moment with a tattered copy of their Herbology book.

"You're not what?"

"Nothing, Pads." Remus said, unable to come up with a convincing lie as he looked up into his friend's handsome face. Not, that the handsomeness of Sirius was befuddling, Remus would argue.

**A/N: Well, here's chapter 4. I know it feels like not much is happening...but we'll get there eventually! Thanks for everyone who has reviewed/favorited/followed. **


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